
21/08/2025
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Veterinarians are scratching their heads as Loki the Giant Alaskan Malamute has been officially diagnosed with a rare and hysterical condition:
Snack-Selective Hearing Syndrome (SSHS).
🐾 Symptoms include:
🔇 Selective deafness when hearing: “Come inside,” “Bath time,” or “Stop digging!”
👂 Sonic-level hearing powers activated only when a snack bag rustles from 5 blocks away.
🌌 Telepathic connection to the word “walk” ...even if it’s whispered on another continent.
🎶 Perfect pitch-level ear function whenever the fridge door opens.
🔬 Scientists have concluded:
Loki’s ears are perfectly fine… they’re just set to Husky Mode™.
🎛️ Ear Modes Detected:
❌ Ignore
❌ Ignore Louder
❌ Dramatic Malamute Howl Instead of Listening
✅ Food Radar Activated™
📢 Public Advisory:
⚠️ Do not attempt to issue commands to Loki without proper snack bribes.
⚠️ Do not whisper “treat” unless you’re ready to deliver.
And remember: Loki isn’t stubborn… he’s simply expressing his inner Alaskan Malamute truth.
More updates will follow ...as soon as Loki decides we’re worth listening to. 🐺💙