08/04/2025
Hi, it’s me — Perry 🐾
So apparently, I had to go to the vet because I have these things called heartworms (rude) — or as I like to call them, heartless worms 💔🐛. They are not invited and I will be evicting them shortly, thank you very much.
Anyway, I may or may not have peed on the vet’s floor (no one can prove anything), got myself wedged between the bench and the window like a furry Tetris piece, and assumed everyone there was obviously there to see me. (They weren’t?? Rude.)
Basically, my vet visit was like taking a toddler to the doctor, if the toddler had four legs, no personal boundaries, and an obsession with trash. Speaking of which — I did get into the trash in the car, helped myself to the driver’s water, and firmly planted my nose in their ear while offering “emotional support” by holding their arm hostage with my paw the entire drive.
Oh — and at one point, I almost knocked over my driver at the vet because I HAVE TO LEAN into people for comfort. Not just a casual lean. I mean a full-body, “I’m 97% sure you’re a support beam” kind of lean. I must be touching you at all times and I use all my weight to prove my love.
It was an exciting day. I had a blast. Zero regrets.
And let’s be honest… if you had to wait an hour at the vet, wouldn’t you also act like a caffeinated raccoon?
xoxo,
Perry 🐶💛
