11/07/2026
I don’t know about you…but I am so tired of trying to be perfect. Of trying to have it all figured out. Tired of trying to make sure I am doing it “right” all of the time or presenting myself in a way that others view to be acceptable.
I am tired. Tired of existing in a an industry where judgement comes first, before any attempt at understanding, empathy or compassion. We judge ourselves, becoming our harshest critics and holding ourselves beneath a microscope of harsh, unreachable standards. We judge others, seeing what they do and instantly putting up barriers between “them” and “us.” We create distance, we put people on pedestals that we admire and we try to push ones we don’t down.
So much of this is how we are raised in western society. It’s always been “us vs. them.” We value success and competition and ego so much in this world, and so many of us are now feeling isolated, burnt out and exhausted.
The equestrian “hustle culture” puts non-stop work, constant improvement, and daily growth at the top of the success pyramid. No matter what section of the equestrian world you’re in, you’ll feel pressure. Pressure to jump higher, run faster, turn tighter. Pressure to be softer, move slower, do less. But no matter what, we’re all just trying to put up this perfect facade of what we think it means to be “the perfect equestrian.”
We are supposed to know all of the answers. If we don’t, we are supposed to find someone who does. If we don’t like their answers, we are supposed to belittle them, disprove them and then continue our search. We are supposed to villainize everyone else who doesn’t believe in what we believe in, who doesn’t do things the way we do things…
…Without getting curious about their intentions, their experiences or their beliefs, we simply cut them off at the knees and move on.
We want our horses to be perfect, too. We want their bodies to be perfect, their behavior to be perfect. We want their performance to be predictable. Any sign of stiffness or weakness often leaves us spiraling down the hole of “what if” and sends us searching for the fix.
It leaves us feeling like we all have to have it figured out. That we need to be steadfast and sure in what we are doing. That we need to have the proof and the science to back it all up.
That we need to be perfectly in control of everything, at all times.
It’s so tiring. It robs us of the present moment, of loving ourselves, loving our friends and loving our horses. It steals energy from the depths of our soul, from a place that is so hard to recharge and regenerate.
I believe wholeheartedly that, as long as your intentions are pure, your horse will not hold much against you. You can be less-than-perfect, you can have a human moment. As long as you do not set out to hurt your horse (physically, emotionally or mentally), they will not hold much against you.
But we all need to remember to give ourselves the same grace we often have the capacity to give to others. To trust that it is safe to be something other than perfect. That we can make mistakes. That OTHERS can make mistakes.
We are all just orbs of light, floating through the universe, trying to make sense of the human experience and all that it entails. Give yourself a break, some love and a whole lot of grace. This whole “life” thing is a whole lot easier with community.
And community can’t exist without compassion. ✨
