12/23/2025
There’s been a lot of back-and-forth lately about what breeders should or shouldn’t do, what’s acceptable to say, show, price, waffle, or debate. I want to add a perspective that often gets blurred: the difference between self-expression and leadership.
Who do you perceive as a leader? Are they actually leading, or are they just loud? When you seek to lead, how do you go about it?
EDIT TO ADD: What do you do when you don't WANT to be a leader, but people perceive you that way and have high expectations of you?
What I see frequently labeled as “leadership” is simply saying whatever one wants unapologetically. That's unfiltered self-expression. Leadership is not defined by volume, taboo-breaking for its own sake, or refusal to self-moderate. Leaders keep the end in mind, and apply discernment, intentional constraint, and being accountable for impact.
Leadership chooses when and how to speak:
- Not every truth needs to be spoken in every room.
- If words don’t move things toward clarity, alignment, or action, it isn't leadership, it's venting.
- Timing matters; truth delivered poorly can disrupt progress instead of help.
- Accountability for impact, not just intent.
Have you ever said or felt “I say what needs to be said. People just don’t like the truth.”
This is personal integrity and self-worth. It can be healthy and corrective, especially for those conditioned to shrink themselves. But by itself, it is not leadership.
Leaders keep *effectiveness* in front. A leader doesn’t ask, “Am I allowed to say this?” They ask, “Is this necessary, effective, and appropriate now, in this context, for these people?” Leaders don’t reject constraint, they accept more of it. Leadership applies a filter not to diminish the self, but to clarify it.
And yes, leaders face resistance. Not all pushback is feedback, sometimes it’s fear, inertia, or discomfort with change. Leadership requires distinguishing between useful critique and noise, and knowing when to persist rather than react.
I ask myself "In this moment, is it more important to be the most right, or the most *effective?*"
The work of leadership is knowing which side of that line you’re on, and holding your ground when you’re aligned with effectiveness, even when it’s unpopular. Self expression is also important. Let's be clear on which one we're exercising when we speak.
Would love thoughts on this. Does it give anyone clarity on how to shift their own engagement?
