02/20/2022
First week of Radiation down and 4 more weeks to go! Here’s part of the crew I’ve been hanging out with every morning at 8:00 a.m.
So I’ve been MIA lately because I was busy feeling good, working lots and just doing life stuff. Then last Sunday hit and I was in a very dark place. Normally I’m able to pull myself out of that place relatively quickly but this dark place lasted until Friday morning. I just couldn’t shake it and nothing seemed to work. As I reflected, I came to the conclusion I am just worn down, tired of how long this journey is going to be (because even though Radiation will be complete in 4 more weeks, I still have almost 8 more months of Chemo to go) and I’m tired of starting to feel good and then having another procedure/treatment that is going to make me feel bad again. I just want to get back to my normal, but will life ever be “normal” again? I am a firm believer that God puts people on your path at exactly the right time. Wednesday at Radiation there was a lovely lady named Bonnie getting ready to leave, so I asked her if she had a moment to talk. She has this incredible spark about her, she’s 75, having a second go round with Cancer and she is absolutely lovely. A true Angel on earth. We spoke for awhile and she reminded me to make little goals of things that I enjoy and could look forward to for that week. It was a reminder I desperately needed. I had become to exhausted between dealing with my treatments, keeping my shop going and dealing with taking care of my parents and all their affairs. I had no time or energy left for things that lift me up. I did workout one day last week which felt wonderful, and my fun goal for next week is I’m going to have lunch with Bonnie. While I hated being in that dark place it got me where I needed to be, and like I always used to say “I learn more from my bad races that I do my good ones” (all my distance runner friends will totally get that – lol, most of them have been there to push me through the bad ones). So onward and upward, meeting the good, the bad and the ugly with Gratitude, hanging on tight during those dark times and looking for the lesson in them, living life on life’s terms and consistently relying on God to carry me through this. Peace Out and Love you all!
