03/15/2021
My sweet boy Tucker passed away peacefully in my arms yesterday. He was a fighter and fought courageously for the last 7 months. Yesterday he let me know that he was tired and ready to go. He was my best friend for 14 years. I’m not sure how people move on from a loss like this. I will miss coming home to him everyday, this house already feels so empty. I never left Tucker without telling him that I would be back and that I loved him. I did the same yesterday. He slept with me every night. How do you get past such a loss, such an empty feeling. How do you make the heartbreak stop. I’m so lost.
When I was sick or sad Tucker never left my side. When I would get up and go into another room he would follow me or turn his head and watch for me until I came back. Then there were the numerous trips to the bathroom that he demanded he be a part of. He was by my side at every turn, my furry shadow. He was there with me through happy times and heart break. He thought of me before himself and I though of him before myself. We were an amazing team.
He loved his boy Julian. He came home when Julian was 10, he is now 24. When Julian left for college Tucker would sit outside his bedroom door waiting for him to come home. He would get so excited when I told him we were going on a road trip to see our boy. There were 14 years of birthday celebrations, graduations, Christmases, walks and snuggles. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. I will never be able to express how much love I have for my Tucker. I miss him terribly.
Tucker was kind, sweet, silly, loving and happy. He brought so much love and joy to so many people. He was gentle and easy going, a gentle giant at 108 pounds. Pure fluffy love and joy. He was patient and wouldn’t even take a treat from your hand unless you told him it was “ok”.. He was a true goofball. He loved to be brushed and have his ears rubbed….to which he would moan and paw you if you stopped. He liked to sleep next to me, but I had to keep a hand on him or he would nudge me as if to make sure I knew he was there. I will miss his Tuckie breath, his big goofy paws, his sweet expressive face with those golden eyebrows that let you know exactly how they feel.
He loved his favorite bear “Bear Bear” and took it everywhere with him. This handsome guy had more stuffed animals than a toy store. They were his lovies and he gently carried them from room to room leaving a trail of lovies along the way. There was that Bruins St. Patricks Day hat though, sorry Mike. I guess he was a Blues fan. He would bring Bear Bear to me and drop him at my feet to let me know it was time to go to bed. For 14 years, at night we had “last call” with his bettie treat toy that we filled generously with Skippy peanut butter. He would eat just about anything but some of his favorites were Land O’ Lakes White American Cheese, London Broil, Pizza, Three Dog Bakery cookies, Vanilla Ice Cream, The Alley hamburger patties and mac n’ cheese, and anything that was NOT healthy! Probably his absolute favorites were McDonalds Cheeseburgers and the ground beef he got for his birthday every year. He didn’t always have this amazing human diet, but as he got older and his health began to decline I decided he could have whatever he wanted…and he did.
Tucker Willoughby Petrallia was born January 11, 2007. While he answered to Tucker he also had many nicknames, Tuckie, Sweet baby Boy, Tuckie Woo Woo, Mr. Handsome, Tuck Tuck, Mr. Buster, Tuckie too, My love, the Tuckster….. just to name a few. Many of these nicknames came from customers at The Chatham Beach Dog where Tucker worked as the official door greeter for many years. He loved getting in the car and going to work where he spent his days with Alley, Betsy, Princess Gracie, Lillie and hundreds of customers and their best friends. Families would come back every year to see Tucker and to have their pictures taken with him. I was really fortunate to have a job that allowed me to bring him to work every day. We went everywhere together and were rarely apart.
He loved the beach, but loved getting wet and rolling in the sand more than being in the water. While he loved hanging by the beach, Winter was his favorite season. I’m so happy that this winter was filled with snow. I’ve never seen a dog love snow more than him. He liked to roll around and make “Tuckie Angels”, chase snowballs and fall asleep happy and content blanketed by snow. Being outside, relaxing in the grass or snow was his happy place. He would sit peacefully and watch the squirrels, bunnies and leaves pass by. He liked to lift his nose to the sky and take in a fresh breath of air, exhaling loudly….loving life. Tucker loved chasing the ball around the lawn but wasn't the best at retrieving it and would sit and bark at the ball until I walked to him, picked it up and threw it again. Repeat… This guy also loved to dig! He would dig huge holes, big enough to put his wiggly butt in so he could cool down and take in the scenery. He loved the dirt. Rolling around in it, digging in it and relaxing in it. He also loved tearing apart branches. Not sure I know how to explain so will have to post a video. I called it “clearing a path”. He would grab a branch, rip it off the bush then spit the branch out. He did this until he was satisfied with his “clearing”. I would say, “good job Tuckie!” then on to the next bush.
As he got older he became a little more assertive. If he wasn’t ready to go into the house he would certainly let you know. If he wasn’t ready to come out from under the deck, I’d pull up a chair. If he wanted to go for a longer walk, I went. He started to let me know what he wanted and I compiled. Sometimes he would act like he was having trouble getting up so I would go to help him and he would immediately roll over onto his back for belly rubs. This went on for hours….and I loved every second.
Tucker was my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime and the true love of my life. The day we picked up Tucker to bring him home it was snowing. I remember how small he was in the big snow drifts. Yesterday when I returned home after his passing I walked into the house and it immediately began to snow. It was crazy. Blizzard conditions out of nowhere. Then it stopped and the sun came out, followed by a beautiful sunset. It all makes sense to me. Tuckers way of letting me know he is ok. I’m hopeful he is now with my Grandma and Grandpa Mory who adored him, as well as Gracie, his Chatham Beach Dog “girlfriend”. Spanky, my childhood dog and Mickey and Minnie, our 2 Maine C**n cats that Tucker graciously put up with. I thank God every day for bringing this wonderful dog and best friend into my life. I don’t know how I will ever recover from this. People say it gets easier with time, but it’s hard to imagine a time when I will be ok with him not being by my side.
I will miss you every day my sweet Tucker. I hope you heard me yesterday whispering in your ear. I am blessed to have had 14 years with you. Thank you for giving me unconditional and unforgettable love. Please wait for me….I love you so much. Mom
