05/30/2026
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Behind the Zoomies: An Interview with Stephanie B.
Interviewer: Stephanie, thank you for sitting down with us. Let’s dive right into the man of the hour. Who exactly is the legendary greyhound sharing your home?
Stephanie B.: His official call name is Fitty, known professionally as MRL Fifty Proof, though his title changes daily depending on his mood! He actually came to us as a "bounce-back." We were warned that he had a bite history and required knowing what his boundaries and expected behaviours were. Thankfully we respected the Going Home Protocol and set Fitty up for success, to be his forever home.
Interviewer: That sounds incredibly intimidating. How did you navigate that transition?
Stephanie B.: With following the advice from our adoption group, the only thing this boy will bite now is a treat, which he prefers to gently accept while lying completely horizontal. Frankly, Fitty is the clumsiest, laziest greyhound I have ever encountered. Our running nickname for him is "Mr. Fitness." Even our veterinarian laughs at his absolute dedication to doing nothing.
Interviewer: A true athlete of leisure. Does "Mr. Fitness" have any particular habits or quirks that keep you on your toes?
Stephanie B.: We are entirely convinced he can tell time. Dinner is strictly at 5:00 PM. If 5:05 PM rolls around and his bowl is empty, he stands up, stares me dead in the eye, and delivers a look that translates directly to: "Woman, where the heck is my dinner?"
Interviewer: Incredible precision. Let's take a step back. Where did your passion for this specific breed begin? What was the original spark?
Stephanie B.: Our love affair with greyhounds began back in 2012. We were researching breeds for a family dog for our three children, who were 7, 9, and 12 at the time. In our research, we kept encountering the phrase "the world's fastest couch potatoes." We had no idea how literal that description was until we brought one home. Fitty, however, has elevated couch-potatoing to an Olympic sport.
Interviewer: To close our interview, what is the ultimate truth about your bond with Fitty?
Stephanie B.: The ultimate truth is that Fitty is the absolute best greyhound to ever exist because he knew exactly when we needed him most. He entered our lives just a few months after we lost our previous greyhound. Simultaneously, we were facing a completely empty nest as our youngest child had just departed for university.
I desperately needed another living creature to look after and dote on, and Fitty gladly accepted the position. He has thoroughly reveled in his role of being pampered, and he fills our quiet home with immense sweetness and love.