08/24/2026
So true about this message. Im obviously hormonal because I was tearing up writing this.
The past 25 years I've had some life altering experiences. I know everybody goes through stuff, so I'm not special in the least little bit.
But, From my firstborn son being stillborn at 38 weeks when I was 23, to my second born son being diagnosed with autism at age 2 and being told to put him somewhere or medicate him at the age of 9 because of his self injurious behaviors. Watching him hit himself for years, trying to hit me, or putting holes in the walls because he was going through puberty and could not talk and tell me how crazy he was feeling.
Thinking I had my life figured out with my career, to end up leaving my career of teaching at 35 which I loved. Deciding to leave it ALL and try something new that I could do at home so I could be more present for my son that was struggling. And that's just the half of it. The other half was trying to navigate all that while rebuilding my life and starting my business after many failed relationships because my kids come first. And dealing with severe autistic behaviors before it was " trendy" to be on the spectrum and "neurodivergent". AND raise my other son that is 5 years younger and protect him and make space for him as well during all of it.
But as this post says, my DOGS was always there, always by me, even on my sad days that I didn't know how I was going to get through it. Even when I couldn't sleep or eat for months because I suspected abuse by the school system and the teachers that was suppose to protect him and O couldn't prove anything other than bruises because he couldn't talk! all these years later, it seems like a dream, like I've lived 2 seperate lives already.
All the uncertainty when he was younger just about killed me. Anxiety was through the roof! Always questioning myself, am I doing the right thing? Leaving my job? Trusting in a higher power that if I do what's right by my son, my child that cannot speak up for himself, then hopefully everything will work itself out in my favor and I'll get some help from above.
My family thought I was crazy. Nobody really understood my mental turmoil and the day to day life I was living with my son. Words just cannot explain it.
My dogs always knew how I felt or when I was having a bad day. Which back then was many, almost everyday!
I just wanted my son to be the happy boy he was before. But now, 16 years later, and thanks to my wonderful families that keep spreading my good name, my intuition to just keep going, my drive to never stop, and the love for my kids and dogs, I'm now at a peaceful place. It did work itself out.
My son is happy now, content, and will be 22 this fall!
I feel like I fought a war all by myself and won. But the battle scars on my soul and nervous system are still there just lingering under the surface. I'm just waiting for the next crash out, next meltdown.
I still fear everytime we have to go to the dentist or the doctor. I still get anxiety about it days before!I'm positive I have some form of ptsd from the nearly a decade, of not knowing what to expect with him from day to day, hour to hour.
But for today, the future and most of the time now the past 6 years, I'm at peace, I'm content. Gardening, ponding, playing with the dogs and the few cats we have and chilling with them and my boys peacefully is my new life.
I'm proud that I never gave up on him and the life I knew he deserved. I fought for him for services, sp*ech, ot, private school, behavioral therapy, and the whole school district I lived in for years and years from the time he was age 2, while working full time out of the home!
When we moved here I flat out told them he will do homebound, or homeschooling. I'm not sending him back to school, public or private!
I cannot go back to the self injurious behaviors that school was causing. It was just too much for him. And yes we can fight about it because I AM that mom! I know how to call a placement meeting in a second! 🤣 I'm probably only one of a few ppl and families that when covid happened, everything got better for us. It opened my eyes to how much school "private school for autism" year round school, was causing him distress.
Luckily they heard it through the grapevine from the last school district, Im a pain in the a_ _. I know they was glad I moved 🤣😬
So, the new school district gave me what I wanted out the gate. But he is almost 22 now so he is done all together and I couldn't more happy and niether can he!
So, when I say I'm in my peaceful era, it really is THAT deep for me and my sons.
If anybody doesn't like how I do business, that I'm not bending to everyone's demand anymore, or let ppl waste my time, or protecting my sons and I peace, I say " sons" because my son Brayden was there and little, 5 years younger than his brother. He endured all this too while his older brother was struggling. If you cannot respect my boundaries, you can simply find someone else to get a dog from. 😘
