11/06/2025
Such a good read!
๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐ช๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ต ๐๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐ง๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐ดโ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ
So I am sedgwaying (is that a word? LOL) off of my recent post about ๐ง๐๐ง๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐. ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ช๐ข๐ฅ๐, I wanted to explore another layer. As both an instructor and a coach, I study behavior, not only in dogs, but in people. The two are inseparable. Iโm constantly asking why we do what we do, how our reactions shape our dogs, and how our mindset influences performance. This reflection on validation comes straight from that ongoing search for understanding.
Itโs such a common experience in agility, that subtle, unspoken belief that our worth as handlers, trainers, or even people somehow depends on how well our dog performs. Maybe your dog knocks a bar, or misses a contact and you feel embarrassed. Maybe you are late cuing your dog, and your inner critic whispers, โYouโre not all THATโ Maybe someone compliments you and your dogโs run, and it lights you up because it validates you. I really believe this isnโt vanity. It is a NEED!!
Our brains are wired to seek external validation. When we Q, earn a ribbon, or get praise from others, it triggers the same dopamine response as any other form of achievement.
Just like achieving titles and Qs, it feels amazing so we chase it again. But the more we chase it, the more our sense of identity becomes fused with ๐ผ๐๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐. We stop asking, โDid my dog and I have fun?โ Or โHmm.. I need to work on that skill for homeworkโ. And instead we internally start putting pressure on ourselves to achieve that outcome.
๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐
Thatโs when agility can shift from joy to pressure. This may not look obvious but I think this is an internal battle/pressure that we feel. We get frustrated with our dogs for small mistakes. We raise our voices as we get anxious to get that Q. We lose patience, not because we donโt love our dogs, but because our self-worth is on the line. Itโs subtle. But it happens to the best of us.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐น๐ฎ๐ถ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐. ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐ข๐๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ-๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด
Letโs talk about something that quietly drains joy from the sport we love: ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐น๐ผ๐ผ๐ฝ. That loop starts when our focus shifts from how weโre growing to what weโre achieving. Suddenly, our worth gets tangled up in results:
- Did I Q?
- Did we place?
- Did others, or your circle of friends, think we ran well?
It feels motivating at first. Results give our brain a hit of dopamine. But the brain quickly adapts. It needs more results, more wins, more validation to feel that same high. And when we donโt get it? Cortisol spikes. Stress, self-doubt, frustration all kick in. Thatโs outcome-based thinking.
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ๐บ
When we focus on outcomes (things we canโt fully control), our brain moves into a threat state. That part of the brain that manages fear and threat detection, becomes more active and it leads to:
* Overthinking (โDonโt mess up the weave entry!โ)
* Tight, hesitant movement (your body literally mirrors anxiety)
* Tunnel vision (losing awareness of flow and overall connection)
* Reduced confidence (every mistake feels like failure)
This is what is called ego-oriented motivation. It is where success is about proving your worth. Itโs fragile and unsustainable and unfortunately I think our dogโs pay the price.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ผ๐น๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป: ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐๐ต-๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด
When you shift from โDid I win?โ to โWhat did I learn?โ, you activate an entirely different system called the The approach system also know as Behavioral Approach System (BAS). This lights up the prefrontal cortex, the area linked to problem-solving, focus, and emotional regulation. This is called task-oriented motivation and athletes who train this way perform with:
* Better confidence and emotional control
* Faster recovery from mistakes
* Higher long term satisfaction and resilience
Growth based thinkers donโt avoid failure, they use it as data. I think that is why I am so comfortable with the โGrowth Based Thinkingโ as I really love data because it ALWAYS gives you so much information. My nerdy math brain fires off of it ๐
๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐
Start measuring your progress with process-based goals, not results. Instead of โDid I Q?โ, ask:
- Did I handle timely and give my dog the necessary information?
- Did my dog perform the contact obstacles correctly?
- Did I execute the plan I walked?
These questions retrain your brain to associate reward with learning, not with the outcome.
๐๐ผ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐
Outcome based thinking fixates on things you canโt control like judges, weather, course design, your competitorโs run. I have heard it so many times that a judge, or course design somehow were what caused a bad run or a low Q rate for competitors.
Shifting the blame to something or someone else is something we cannot control or even make better!. Growth-based thinking focuses on what you can control:
* Your mindset before stepping to the line
* Your breathing
* Your handling decisions
* Your response after an error
This is what sports psychologists call ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ถ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฐ๐๐, and itโs strongly tied to consistent performance under pressure.
๐๐๐ถ๐น๐ฑ ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐๐ฒ๐.
After every run, reflect like an athlete in training and not a competitor seeking approval:
* What went well?
* What did I learn about my dog today?
* What will I try differently next time?
This pattern develops whatโs known as ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป which is the ability to find satisfaction internally rather than through comparison. Over time, it literally rewires your reward system toward growth and mastery.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ โ๐๐ต๐.โ
So initially I think that most of us did not start agility for ribbons. We just wanted to DO agility with our dogs. At least I know I did. However, something happens along the way and our focus becomes more outcome driven i.e. titles and Qs.
When you reconnect to that initial purpose for doing agility, performance anxiety loses its grip. Youโre not out there proving anything, instead youโre collaborating, learning, and growing with your dog.
๐๐ผ๐๐๐ผ๐บ ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ:
Outcome-based thinking feeds ego.
Growth-based thinking feeds excellence.
One keeps you chasing validation. The other helps you build it from the inside out where joy, confidence, and true partnership live.
