Rivergirl Dressage

04/24/2025

Yea… This!

If we are honest, we ALL have some healing to do! NO SHAME, ZERO JUDGEMENT.

I’ve shared this before, and I’ll continue to share it because it challenges a deeply ingrained belief: forgiveness is not necessary for healing.

Monsters—those who harm, abuse, and traumatize—want you to forgive. They want you to "let it go," to move on, because that lets them carry on as if nothing happened. They remain protected by the idea of forgiveness, often without consequence, cleared of wrongdoing, and free to repeat their actions. When forgiveness is pushed on victims, especially on children who may not even understand what it means, it doesn’t heal the victim—it protects the perpetrator.

Ask yourself: where and by whom is the concept of forgiveness most promoted? Who truly benefits from this expectation?

What some call forgiveness, I call acceptance. And acceptance was hard won. I don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt me, but I do need to accept what happened and, more importantly, accept and forgive myself. That’s where healing begins—for me, it’s how I’ve been able to move forward, through Rabbit & Bear, through years of therapy, through twists and turns I didn’t expect.

The idea of forgive but don’t forget has always felt like a contradiction to me. It feels like holding on to resentment. To truly forgive, in my mind, would mean to erase the harm as though it never happened—and for some of us, especially in cases of trauma, that’s not possible. But here’s the truth: it’s not necessary either. Acceptance is enough. Forgive yourself, if you can, for the things you didn’t know, for the way you coped in the past—but beyond that, you don’t owe anyone forgiveness.

Let survivors of trauma and abuse find their own path to healing. Don’t push the notion that forgiveness is required for them to heal or not be "bitter." Healing isn’t about satisfying the expectations of others; it’s about creating space for the survivor to feel, to grieve, and to speak their truth. If you can’t offer that safe, non-judgmental space, step aside and let someone who can.

Forgiveness is not the only way forward. Sometimes, it’s not the way forward at all.

Healing is about the victim’s journey—not yours. There are other ways to heal that may be even more profound than the act of forgiving someone who has harmed you. Acceptance of yourself, accepting that you survived, that you were not to blame, and forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know or couldn’t control—that is the healing that matters.

In the case of trauma, especially childhood trauma, the only one deserving of your forgiveness is you. You did the best you could with what you knew. It wasn’t your fault.

To anyone on this path—my heart is with you. Healing is yours to define, and acceptance might be the most powerful step you take. ❤️

P.S. I want to gently remind everyone that we all come from different backgrounds and beliefs, including religion or spirituality, and not everyone shares the same perspective. That’s perfectly okay. It’s important to be respectful of those differences, especially in spaces like this one, where people may be on very different journeys. Let’s continue to hold space for one another with kindness and understanding. ❤️

***
"Forgiveness is not a necessary part of the healing process." said Bear. "It's only necessary that you heal in your way and in your own time."

©Tara Shannon

04/16/2025

It’s always devastating to lose a loved one, no matter how long or great a life they led. My heart is heavy in sharing the news that my dear friend and the great Master of dressage, Charles de Kunffy, passed onto higher realms April 14, 2025.

Charles’ was a life defined by unusual decorum, born of true nobility yet also refined by life experiences so dark and extreme that only someone trained in the wisdoms of the great theologians and philosophers could possibly survive. Charles not only survived, he exemplified what it is to rise above one’s circumstances. He exemplified what it is to experience unthinkable hardships and life threatening circumstances and still somehow maintain a sense of humor and a seemingly unscathed love of fellow man.

I owe more to Charles deKunffy than I can possibly express. We would always laugh over how once again, “Charles is right!” Spoken always with a lilt of joy beneath his iconic Hungarian accent, Charles could see the fundamental solution within a rider’s seat and aids, the “fix,” that facilitated the horse to almost immediately and effortlessly offer what the rider was asking for, or grow 10x more expressive and elevated in but a few moments, just by teaching the rider to get out of the horse’s way. I am blessed to have been his dedicated student for over 10 years and dearly appreciate Jessica Jo Tate for introducing us to each other way back when.

It went without saying that to have Charles come and support with a clinic or training sessions just before competition always resulted in 3-5% higher scores, if not more. More importantly, our confidence soared as riders after his help because everything not only made more sense, it was so much more accessible and our horses were happier.

It goes without saying that volumes of theory session notes could never even begin to demonstrate all Charles had to offer. It never failed during any of our many “Fireside Chats with Charles deKunffy” at Riveredge that people would feel deeply moved by his example, elevated by his teaching, and determined to keep their minds and spirits right-aligned to do justice to our horses. Just as good riding requires the utmost dedication of the riders body, mind, and spirit to access the best their horses have to offer, Charles was able to initiate transformation within each of us, his students, that compelled utmost dedication to replicate his teaching in our body, minds, and spirits every time we ride or teach. That defines legacy.

From the many times I hosted Charles for clinics, we grew to be good friends and supporters of one another’s endeavors. Having heard his survival stories from the tyrannical take-over of his family’s property and possessions, and his death-defying escape to the Spanish riding school in Vienna, I was one of his top cheerleaders, encouraging him to capture these memorires in yet another publication. Having the privilege to proofread his first manuscript, he was kind enough to mention me in the Foreward, an honor I never expected. If you haven’t read it yet, order it now: “A Rider’s Survival from Tyranny,” a book I have gifted more times than I can possibly count.

I am grateful that I called Charles but 6-weeks or so ago, sharing my excitement that I would soon be presenting a long-held dream of putting my practices of Yoga, functional movement, and classical dressage teaching together into my own branded program, The Art of Functionally Correct Dressage. I let him know how much he had influenced me as a rider, a trainer, and as a person. I believe Charles would have loved the day and all it yielded for its participants, let alone the fact that I honored him at my introduction with my tremendous gratitude for all he taught me, and probably at least a dozen times more throughout the day. His stamp on me is permanent and for that, am eternally grateful.

RIP, beloved Charles. I can’t wait to ride with you in Heaven one day.🙏🙏🙏

04/08/2025

Yes!! This is my girl!!!! For those of you who attended my event last Sunday, watch Sara’s example of an integrated, effective seat!!🤩🙏🥰💯🎉❤️

04/08/2025

Thank heavens we are Dressage Riders!!🤣🤣🤣

04/02/2025

I am truly blessed by this!! The extraordinary talent and generosity of my student Brooke Grove💯🙏

Brooke has played an essential role in the opportunity to partner with Promise Landing Farm Inc and the administration of my upcoming event. To top off her generous energy, creative embellishments, and constructive contributions to the ex*****on of the event… she totally surprised and delighted me with this perfect design for my concept!!!🥰 I literally had tears when I saw it….

When words are not needed and a picture contains a thousand words!!! Thank you from the bottom and of my heart, Brooke!!

Please join us this Sunday!! Eventbrite link below mto learn more about the fun and generous provisions of Promise Landinf Farm and a chance to still sign up. Walk-ins are welcome but we love a good headcount!!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/participative-auditor-clinic-the-art-of-functionally-correct-dressage-tickets-1287872424089?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl

03/30/2025

Join me for my inaugural collaborative event The Art of Functionally Correct Dressage.

03/30/2025

One week and counting!! So excited for this collaborative event! Be sure to clear your calendar and join us. Everyone will learn and actively participate in discovering how to ride seat-centric, core-centric, and ultimately how to support your horse’s enjoyment of the sports and provide a better foundation for their longterm soundness.

A unique opportunity to observe top-tier dressage instruction and gain insights into optimizing rider movement for better performance.

03/30/2025

03/30/2025

Looking forward to Return to Home summer in Vail #6… only 5-weeks, this time, but I’ll take it!!🥰🙏❣️

03/20/2025

Why Horses??? This is why…. So beautifully stated. People have so much to learn from these spiritual Masters. Had to share…

The trust a horse gives is actually far more meaningful precisely because it isn't automatic or guaranteed. When a horse chooses to lower its defenses and connect with a human, it's making a conscious choice to be vulnerable despite its instincts for self-protection.

What makes horses remarkable isn't that they don't have walls built up around their minds and bodies, but rather how honestly they communicate those boundaries and how willing they can be to rebuild trust when approached with consistency and respect. Their capacity for forgiveness and their willingness to try again is what I find so captivating about working with horses.

03/20/2025

…gulp.
This hits so very close to home.
Beautiful, painfully real, incredibly accurately so. What a lovely gift has The Horse's Truth with Angela Dunning, on so many levels.

The lesson: live with deep integrity, strength, passion and purpose. Even if your world changes in ways that feel deeply uncomfortable at first or frankly unbelievable, given the gift of your previous circumstances. The pursuit of mental health and emotional healing is ultimately not only essential for survival, but becomes a gift to all those who you hold most dear.
To show up 100% in life at times requires us to sacrifice everything others expect of us. As long as we act with the utmost integrity and purity of heart, it will all work out.
Everything will usually be OK. Everyone will usually be better for it. Life truly does require bravery in the face of change and the pursuit of happiness, a birthright and something no one is required to explain.

Saying no to something is often one of the hardest, bravest things we can do.

To take the easier path and say yes to something, usually out of the fear that nothing better or more aligned will appear, comes at a great cost, and that cost is often your soul.

To say no and to be brave enough to close a door and then wait to see what happens next is very courageous indeed. It’s the waiting and the unknown which is so intolerable to many, as it brings up a range of uncomfortable emotions, especially for the ego, which feels the need to always lead and act regardless of a sense of misalignment.

And, while it may initially and for a time feel like a defeat, it’s brave as hell to hold out for something better.

So, if you’ve closed a door, well done. You’ve acted from a place of greater alignment with your true-self and that is no small feat my friend…

Angela Dunning
The Horse’s Truth
www.thehorsestruth.co.uk

Art: 'Rider of Hope' by Laura Makabresku.

03/15/2025

Absolutely thrilled to collaborate with Kristen Cooper and Promise Landing Farm on this novel dressage clinic experience! My passion for dressage, for elevating the horses and the people who want to understand how lovely and kind the sport is meant to be, underlies this exciting endeavor.

Join us! I would love to see old friends and make new. Our participating riders are already selected. The auditor to this clinic will truly understand what it is to be participant! Looking forward to giving lasting tools and classical principles that will bring joy into your dressage experience. The “secret sauce” of functional alignment will support you in every athletic endeavor and lend a degree of ease and grace to your life!