07/21/2026
Some things to ponder… how do you see your horse and speak about them?
Disparaging Comment Translation Chart
We grew up on the Disney romantic movies, filling our heads with smooshy relationships between a woman and a horse. And yet, in arenas and barns everywhere, you can hear people fighting with horses and calling them names like toddlers in a spat over a favorite toy. Sometimes it’s hard to believe we love horses the way we do with the way we behave around them and talk about them.
The truth is, many of the things we say about our horses are actually telling on ourselves.
Now, before anyone writes me an angry email: genetics matter. Conformation matters. Pain matters. Management matters. Some horses genuinely have bigger challenges than others.
But… many of our favorite complaints are simply a creative way of avoiding the mirror.
It can be confusing to know what’s actually going on. Here are some helpful ways to find the real meaning behind those disparaging comments heard so often about our beloved equids.
“She’s so mareish and witchy.”
Translation: Her owner is tense, inconsistent, possibly moody and a little surprised that the horse has noticed.
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“He’s so lazy.”
Translation: He’s spent years carrying a rider who squeezes every stride, hangs on the reins, and has accidentally taught him (accurately) that all human movement and speech is just background noise.
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“He’s so uncoordinated and dopey.”
Translation: His owner has expected him to be balanced, educated, and athletic without giving him the elements of strength, proprioception, or time to get there.
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“She’s just so dramatic.”
Translation: She’s a 1,000-pound prey animal responding honestly to her environment. The drama may actually be coming from the primate sitting on top.
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“He just doesn’t respect me.”
Translation: The owner subscribes to a new program every Tuesday, the expectations are as confused as the owner, and the owner keeps calling confusion a character flaw.
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“He’s stubborn.”
Translation: The owner checks out for 75% of the session until something goes wrong, tries with maximum pressure and gives up in 2 seconds before any change happens. The owner is emotionally reactive and easily frustrated, and the horse learns to quit trying and outlast the owner.
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“He’s pushy.”
Translation: Somewhere along the way the owner confused being kind with having absolutely no personal space.
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“She’s naughty.”
Translation: Her person hasn’t looked closely enough for the reason, so the horse gets the label instead.
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Our horses spend an awful lot of time trying to understand us.
It seems only fair that we spend a little more time trying to understand them.
If this made you smile, laugh, or squirm a little, good. That means it worked. The next time we catch ourselves reaching for a label, maybe we should pause and ask a better question: what is the horse actually trying to tell us?
Because more often than not, the horse isn’t the problem.
The horse is the mirror.
