07/03/2026
The small things you let or don’t let your dog get away with makes a difference overall.
It’s fascinating that something so wildly obvious, and so profoundly impactful on the human/canine dynamic could be so comprehensively demonized and undermined by current culture that it manages to obscure a nearly impossible to not see reality from the the majority of owners’ consciousness.
Most trainers, whether they realize it or not, are using “leadership”, “rules”, “structure”, “manners”, “obedience”, “accountability” as proxies or euphemisms for the work that is the re-balancing of unhealthy power dynamics between humans and dogs.
The primary reason for behavior issues isn’t the lack of fancy training techniques or tools—the primary cause of behavior issues are unhealthy power dynamics which lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Power dynamic gaps which are like constant, tiny, daily green lights to your dog. Do this. Try this. Push this… and when met with inadequate pushback by you, you get the mess that so many owners are in.
You can dislike this reality all you want, but it doesn’t make it any less salient or impactful in your life with your dog.
When I say “Humans lead, dogs follow”, it sounds like a pithy aphorism. But what it really is is a clear, no BS , unapologetic reminder about power dynamics, and their power to influence your life with your dog.
Dogs who Do follow their humans’ rules and guidance with a polite, respectful, deferential demeanor rarely have any serious behavior issues. Why? Because serious behavior issues are almost always the consequence of having poor human guide-rails which keep the good behavior on the menu and the bad stuff off.
Which means, if we’re seeing good, healthy stuff, it’s simply a byproduct of healthy power dynamics in play.
Most skilled trainers, and owners, could live very nice, harmonious lives with their dogs without much of the fancy stuff. Not that the fancy stuff doesn’t have its place—it absolutely does—but I’m merely making a point about fundamental lifestyle dynamics.
We’ve been thoroughly programmed to reject the very reality before our eyes, because current culture finds this reality (power dynamics between dogs and humans) an unsavory proposition.
But if we can’t agree that one party should be leading, guiding, making the big decisions, creating the rules, and enforcing them—you know, the party with the big brain and the clear understanding of this strange, complex, and dangerous world we’ve brought our dogs into—then we, and our dogs, are indeed doomed to suffer together indefinitely.
But at least we’ll all feel comfortable, virtuous, and loving as we suffer and as we drag our dogs along for the ride as well.
