20/05/2026
THIS CAME UP ON OUR FACEBOOK FEED. IT REALLY RINGS TRUE IN THE EQUINE WORLD
“This is hard.”
“My horse is being annoying.”
“I can’t do it.”
Those are things I heard today. Things I do not accept as final.
My daughter had to sit out during a group lesson today. I told her to go stand with her pony in the shade and we’d talk after the lesson. So I sat beside the arena fence with her for probably 30-45 minutes and we had one of the most important conversations this sport can teach.
I asked her:
Do you want to be a lesson kid… or do you want to be a competitor? A horsewoman?
And the truth is… either answer is okay. Not everyone has to want the same thing from horses. You can absolutely ride twice a week, enjoy your time at the barn, make slow progress, and be perfectly happy doing that.
But you cannot expect the results of the people who have decided to dedicate themselves fully to learning. You can’t stay in the same lane as the competitors while refusing to do the same level of work, focus, and self reflection.
Because real horse people never stop learning.
The biggest lesson in this sport is simply showing up ready to learn every single day.
Yes, horses are fun. Your friends are there. The barn should be joyful. But the moment that horse is in your hands (grooming, tacking up, riding, cooling out) you have to lock in. You have to become a sponge. Listen to every correction. Ask questions. Learn how your horse feels. Learn why things work. Learn why they don’t.
That’s what makes this sport so special:
You are never finished.
There is always something to improve.
Hell, I watched a video of myself riding TODAY and immediately thought:
My hands need work.
My shoulders.
My seat.
I should’ve opened my rein more there.
I could’ve ridden that line better.
The best riders in the world are still students.
We also talked about how to ask questions productively. Not understanding something is okay. Saying “I don’t get it” is okay. But learning how to seek understanding instead of frustration is part of becoming a horsewoman too.
To me, great riders are the ones who walk into the arena and focus. They ask questions. They want to understand the mechanics.
But true horsemen?
They want to understand the horse.
How can I make my horse more comfortable?
Why is my horse fussy with the bridle?
What can I do to help their coat shine?
How do I make them stronger, happier, healthier?
It’s the care before the ride, the awareness during the ride, and the responsibility after the ride.
And lately, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about something Maureen Myers said to me. She compared horses to clay on a pottery wheel, and us as the hands shaping the vase. Sometimes the clay pulls left. Sometimes it collapses right. Sometimes it doesn’t look anything like what you pictured in your head.
But the vase isn’t ruined just because it’s imperfect at that moment.
It becomes beautiful through patience, adjustment, education, and feel.
And I think that’s what riding is.
It’s imperfection after imperfection after imperfection… until slowly, over time, you learn how to shape something beautiful. But in order to do that, you have to be willing to learn how to make the vase in the first place. You have to be willing to listen, stay humble, ask questions, make mistakes, and try again tomorrow.
That’s the difference.
And as I sat beside that arena today talking to my daughter, I hope that’s the lesson she walked away with. Not that she failed. Not that her horse was difficult. But that becoming a horsewoman means deciding to keep learning anyway.
📸 Pictured here is my imperfect ride with my imperfect pony. 😉
