13/03/2025
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You know what drives me nuts? This outdated idea that dogs need to "earn" everything.
The whole "nothing in life should be free" nonsense.
As if your dog is some manipulative genius plotting world domination from your sofa. ...eugh!
But hang on a minute. Let's actually think about how little control dogs have in their lives.
They can't open doors.
They can't decide when to go to the park.
They can't choose what's for dinner or when to eat it (okay, Lab owners might disagree on the last part :)).
They can't even tell scary stuff to go away without us shushing them to be quiet.
They live entirely at our mercy, waiting for us to grant them access to literally everything they need and want.
And yet we're worried about them "taking control" if we let them on the sofa?
Seriously?
There's an important concept called agency.
When we talk about agency, we're talking about the ability to make choices that affect your own life.
To have some control over what happens to you. To not just be a passive recipient of whatever someone else decides.
It's a fundamental psychological need. For all of us.
And for all animals (as studies on zoo animals show).
And yet we deny this agency to dogs. We micromanage their every move.
Think about it - how would you feel if someone controlled when you could eat, sleep, go to the toilet, see your friends, or get a moment's peace?
You'd go bonkers.
So why are we surprised when our dogs struggle?
What if, instead of obsessing over "dominance" we gave our dogs more say in their day-to-day lives?
• Let them choose whether to approach that strange dog
• Let them decide if they want to be petted
• Let them pick which way to go on a walk
• Let them sleep where they're comfortable
Of course we need boundaries. No one's suggesting your dog should be in charge of the household budget.
And we definitely want to keep the lid on the treat tin!
But this rigid, controlling approach isn't building "respect" – it's building frustration limiting necessary enrichment.
And for dogs with separation anxiety? It's even worse.
They already feel they have no control over the terrifying experience of being alone.
Then when they cry for help we are told to ignore their cries! Taking away what little choice they do have is just cruel.
So maybe next time someone tells you your dog needs to "earn" affection or that you're best off ignoring them, ask yourself:
Is this really about helping me or my dog?
Or is it about control for control's sake?
Your dog isn't plotting a coup. They just want a comfy spot and some basic dignity.
Is that really too much to ask?
What do you think? Should dogs have more say in their daily lives? Do you give your dog choices?
