ClassiC Man

ClassiC Man just for fun did I just say fun ooooh am sori it just for

08/02/2017

*A Parrot For Sale*

A lady walked into a pet shop demanding for a parrot.

*The owner:* "we have 2 kinds, one repeats everything you say & the other thinks for itself"

*Lady:*"I think I'll like the one that thinks for itself"

The owner brought out her choice & told her to quiz the parrot.

*Lady:* how do I look?
*Parrot:* like a pr******te

*Lady:* I won't buy it, this parrot is rude!

*The owner:* pls lady just give me a moment.....(walked towards the backyard with the parrot. He dipped the parrot into a bucket full of water & warned the parrot, "if u're rude to that
lady one more time I will drown u in this bucket". When the man came back to d counter he told the lady now ask the parrot anything you wish and I assure u that he will be polite.

CONVERSATION
*LADY:* if I come home at night with a man, what will u call this man?
*PARROT:* Your husband!

*LADY:* Good, what if I come home with two men?
*PARROT:* Your husband & your in-law.

*LADY:* Good! Good!, what if I come home with 3 men?
*PARROT:* Your husband, your inlaw & your brother!

*LADY:* Goooooood!!! What if I come home with 4 men?

*PARROT:* (looked back at the owner)....and said *"pls go and drown me, I said it earlier that this woman is a pr******te!!!*

08/02/2017

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Some Nigerians can be very funny. I saw these abbreviations somewhere and it caught my attention.
Look at them .......

*NAIRA* - Never Allow Igbos Rule Again

*PHCN* - Problem Has Changed Name

*HAUSA* - House Animals Using Seat of Authority

*APC* - Association of Past Criminals

*NYSC* - Now Your Struggles Continue

*PDP* - People Deceiving People.

*MTN* - Maintain Total Nonsense

*ABACHA* - After Babangida Another Criminal Has Arrived

*NEPA* - Never Expect Power Always

*BUHARI* - Brought Unnecessary Hardship Among Reasonable Individuals.

05/09/2016

Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Girl: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Boy: "It's me talking to the beer."

31/08/2016

IF U ARE A GUY PLS SAY AMEN AND SWALLOW UR
SALIVA
(1) My father my Father!
Anywhere any girl is
planning to use me as a
MUGU, God destroy her plans!
(2) Oh God! Any girl that is using her breast to
confuse my
destiny, Holy Ghost
fire! Born them
(3) Any girl that has vowed that she would never
date me,
God make her to see me
taking her 4 shopping in her dream.!
(4) Any girl that has slept with 5
different men including me and wants to tie me
down with
pregnancy that is not mine, God make her 4get
my name

31/08/2016

IF U ARE A GUY PLS SAY AMEN AND SWALLOW UR
SALIVA
(1) My father my Father!
Anywhere any girl is
planning to use me as a
MUGU, God destroy her plans!
(2) Oh God! Any girl that is using her breast to
confuse my
destiny, Holy Ghost
fire! Born them
(3) Any girl that has vowed that she would never
date me,
God make her to see me
taking her 4 shopping in her dream.!
(4) Any girl that has slept with 5
different men including me and wants to tie me
down with
pregnancy that is not mine, God make her 4get
my name
11 hrs ยท Public

30/06/2016

June wants to travel today and she is asking if there is any message you would like to send her as she travels. So then I told her to go along with sorrow, sickness, backwardness, failure, poverty and untimely death, and also help me to tell July to bring joy, peace, progress, prosperity, love, favour, health, long life, open doors, and other good things you desire in life. Expect all these things tomorrow as July arrives...

Prepare is going to b fun wit MC Role A.K.A Baba Ijebu
30/06/2016

Prepare is going to b fun wit MC Role A.K.A Baba Ijebu

all star Entertainment present u
30/06/2016

all star Entertainment present u

lol abeg who go die 1st
30/06/2016

lol abeg who go die 1st

21/05/2016

Evening joke.....
Several men were in a
changing room of Ikoyi
golf club in Lagos.
Suddenly a mobile
phone on the bench
rang & a man picks up,
switched the speakers
on & began to talk.
Everyone else in the
room stops to listen.
MAN: Hello...
WOMAN: Darling, it's me.
Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes
WOMAN: What's wrong
with your voice darling?
MAN: Nothing really, I'm
just tired.
WOMAN: OK, I'm at
shopRite shopping mall
& I found this beautiful
Versace leather coat,
it's only N19,000. Is it
OK if I buy it?
MAN: Go ahead, darling
if you love it & it's OK by
you.
WOMAN: I also stopped
at the Mercedes Benz
shop, there is this 2010
model with full option.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: N28,500.000
MAN: Go ahead & buy it
if it's OK by you.
WOMAN: Great, darling,
one more thing, the
house I wanted last
year is back in the
market, it's
N148,000.000 & it
located at Victoria
Island.
MAN: Go ahead & give
them a cheque. You
know I can do anything
just to make you
happy.
WOMAN: Thank you my
lovely husband. I love
you.
MAN: I love you too.
The man hanged up,
the other men in the
changing room stared
at him in astonishment.
Pondering on how
wealthy the was.
The man smiled back at
them & said:
"DOES ANYONE KNOW
THE OWNER OF THIS
PHONE?"..

21/05/2016

TYPES OF SLAPS:
There are 6 major types of slaps, they are:
1)TAKE AWAY SLAP: This is a situation where
someone gives
you a dirty slap and all you do is hold your face
and walk
away, this kind is normally received by newly born
again
Christians.
2)RESOUNDING SLAP: This is when after you're
hit, u keep
hearing some funny sound in your brain like
wiiiiiiiiiii, and
voices and your head singing skelewu.
3) FORMATTING SLAP: This is the type that makes
someone
forget instantly what he or she was doing, you
find yourself
asking questions like " what did I do?" " who
slapped me?
This type is very common, it is a slap from guys
who are
stronger than you.
4) EXPLANATION SLAP: When someone gives you
this kind,
you find yourself explaining the situation to the
nearest
person out of your own accord. E.g.. Bros, abi you
dey
watch? I no do anything o, I just dey pass go my
somewhere. This is a slap from soldiers that have
missed
promotion for a long time.
5) FIXED DEPOSIT SLAP: When you receive this
kind, all you
do is just stand right where you are and watch the
person
walk away. This is slap from elder brothers.
6)RHETORICAL SLAP: The moment you download
this slap u
start asking questions that don't need reply " you
slapped

laffx
09/04/2016

laffx

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Naibawa Road Safety
Kano

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