12/10/2026
I was reading a post where someone received a huge amount of backlash for saying they don’t walk their dogs every single day and it made me think about my own dogs.
They have so much freedom of choice that sometimes I set off for a walk with them… and end up walking alone.
Then, while I’m working, they’ll come and nudge me with great urgency because apparently something of extreme importance is happening outside and I absolutely need to open the gate.
I know these things about them because they are allowed to tell me.
And I wonder how many pet dogs genuinely get opportunities to say no? To change their mind? To choose when they want to explore, rest, interact or disengage?
Probably far fewer than we like to think...
Modern pet dogs live incredibly controlled lives where we decide when they go outside, where they walk, how fast they walk..Who they interact with or not, when & what they eat , etc
On top of all of that, we often add another layer of expectations about what a “good dog” should be:
Say hello nicely - Ignore that dog - Walk beside me - Don’t bark - Don’t pull - Don’t chase - Don’t growl!
Enjoy long hikes -Be satisfied with five-minute walks -Be social, but not *too* social. -Be energetic, but settle instantly when asked...
The problem isn’t that structure is bad.
Dogs need safety, boundaries, and they might need management but when almost every aspect of their life is decided for them, we lose something important: we lose the opportunity to see who that dog actually is (preferences, social choices, rhythms, dislikes, curiosity, boundaries, etc).
Additionally, restricted choice may also contribute to frustration, chronic arousal and behaviours that we later try to “fix” through more control.