11/07/2025
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“Toilet Buddies: Why Your Dog Locks Eyes While Having a Poo (and Why You Can’t P*e in Peace)”
There you are, standing in the garden or on your morning walk, trying to look anywhere but at your dog as they squat and… well, do what dogs do. But then it happens. That moment.
The slow turn of the head.
The deep, unwavering eye contact.
They’re p**ping. You’re panicking. And suddenly it feels less like a morning stroll and more like a scene from a low-budget western: The Good, The Bad, and The Brown One.
But why do dogs stare at us while they’re relieving themselves? Why the unblinking gaze as if they’re searching your soul while squeezing one out?
Well, as bizarre as it may feel, there is a reason. And no, it’s not because they’re silently judging your choice of footwear.
Vulnerability, But Make It Awkward
When dogs go to the loo, they’re actually at their most vulnerable. In the wild, that moment of business is also a moment of risk, eyes down, bum out, attention elsewhere. So when your dog locks eyes with you, it’s not some weird canine kink. They’re checking in:
“You’ve got my back, right?”
They’re essentially saying, “Mate, if something leaps out of that hedge while I’m mid-poo, I’m relying on you to either defend me or at least make sure I don’t die with my dignity completely gone.”
That look? That’s trust. Deep, stinky trust.
The Throne Swap
Of course, what goes around comes around. Because just as your dog needs you while they’re perched in their sacred squat, they feel you need them while you’re on your own porcelain pedestal. Hence the toilet entourage.
Sit on the loo and suddenly your loyal companion has transformed into your four-legged personal security guard. They stand watch, nose slightly too close, tilting their head as if to say,
“You seem exposed. Vulnerable. Don’t worry, I shall stand guard… and awkwardly make eye contact while you pee.”
Some dogs even lie by the door like a furry bodyguard, just in case a rogue shampoo bottle attacks. Others prefer to supervise the situation up close and personal, sniffing absolutely everything except their own business.
Pack Instincts and Shared Spaces
Dogs are pack animals. Privacy isn’t really a “thing” in their world. In the wild, going off to poo alone was dangerous. You stuck together. So when you disappear into a room and shut the door, they’re thinking,
“Why would you face such peril alone?”
They follow you not because they don’t respect your need for personal space, but because they genuinely don’t understand why you’d want it.
Scientific-ish Backing
Behaviourists have noted this mutual bathroom attendance isn’t just cute (and slightly unnerving); it’s part of the human-dog bond. Dogs rely on us for safety and reassurance, especially in moments when they feel unsure. And yes, studies do suggest that dogs feel more secure when they’re in close contact with their owners, especially when they’re, quite literally, caught with their pants down (or tail up).
Final Thoughts from the Throne
So next time your dog locks eyes with you mid-poo, or insists on accompanying you to the loo like a VIP chaperone, remember: it’s not weird (well, it is, but it’s sweet too).
It’s loyalty.
It’s trust.
It’s the unspoken pact between human and hound that says:
“If I p**p, you watch my back. And when you p**p, I’ll awkwardly sniff the toilet roll but guard you like a knight.”
Now that’s true companionship.
www.k9manhuntscotland.co.uk
Yes it’s a AI generated image, the reason being I don’t have any photos of anyone sat on toilets simple!
