
23/08/2025
You are not alone ❤️❤️❤️💔
Anticipatory grief is something I didn't truly understand until I started to notice my feelings around seeing Nero begin to age. It’s the grief that shows up before the inevitable goodbye. An ache that creeps in when you see your dog’s body start to slow, when the jumps they once made so easily now take effort, when you catch yourself holding your breath when they stumble.
It’s such a complicated mix of sadness, quiet regret, overwhelming love, and so much gratitude. I find myself replaying all the moments I could have done better, even though I was always doing the best I could with what I knew at the time. That’s the thing about guardianship you walk beside your dog through every stage of their life without a roadmap. You learn as you go, you make mistakes, you adjust, and through it all, you keep showing up for them. Holding it together the best you can.
What strikes me most is how this kind of grief makes every moment feel full of meaning.
His playful smile as he comes running in from the yard after barking at the neighbor dogs.
His frustrated double foot stomps in the morning when I haven't gotten up to give him food quick enough.
The way he looks so peaceful when he sleeps sprawled out on the couch. Taking up far too much space for his medium size body.
His breathy nose boops as he shoves my hand expecting it to only touch him, instead of typing this post.
Each little moment becomes something I am so desperate to hold onto.
I tried to rationalize with myself telling my brain to just enjoy the moments, but it also flashes to a time when I will no longer have them.
Everything that seemed important... feels less significant. The only thing I wish for now is just more time.
I don't care how many tricks he can do.
I don't care if he pulls on the leash.
I don't care if he doesn't immediately respond to my recall.
All that matters is that we're together.
"Dogs lives are too short. Their only fault really." ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull is one of my favorite quotes because of its accuracy.
If you’re walking this path with your own dog, please know you’re not alone.
Anticipatory grief is the price of love but it’s also proof of it.
❤️