13/12/2025
To our lovely customers,
We come before you today in a state of complete and utter disbelief to address several alarming incidents that have recently occurred in our café.
We are deeply sorry that the scent of delicious mornings and sweet, indulgent comforts has gently filled the space, encouraging customers to pause, breathe in, and momentarily forget whatever sensible plans they arrived with.
We regret that this aroma has a habit of quietly suggesting things like “stay a little longer,” “you’ve earned this,” and “it’s definitely still breakfast time,” often resulting in full tables, second coffees, shared glances of approval, and the entirely unplanned arrival of something sweet — sometimes accompanied by a milkshake, and never by regret.
While we genuinely appreciate your patience and understanding, at this time we will be taking absolutely zero corrective action.
We fully intend to continue serving dangerously good breakfasts, comforting favourites, and excellent coffee.
Warmest apologies,
Chapter Two
