Purple Pup

06/06/2026

The “immediately friendly equals well-socialised” myth

There’s a widespread assumption - particularly in Western dog culture - that an immediately friendly dog is a well-socialised one. But sociability and social health aren’t the same thing.

A dog that rushes up to every stranger isn’t necessarily confident. It can equally reflect overarousal (due to varying emotions), a lack of impulse control, or a lack of clear social boundaries.

Natural reservation and fear are not the same thing. This distinction matters enormously, and the two are frequently collapsed, which is a significant equivocation with real consequences for dogs.

Fear-based reservation tends to involve active avoidance, visible stress signals, and an inability to recover. Natural reservation looks quite different - the dog may be calm, observant, and fully functional - simply withholding engagement until they’ve made their own assessment. Conflating the two pathologises a healthy characteristic.

Some breeds were never bred for indiscriminate friendliness: Chow Chows, Akitas, and many Nordic and Eastern breeds among them. Applying a universal social template to every dog and finding them wanting does a real disservice to both the individual and the breed. The Eurasier standard, for example, describes the breed as reserved with strangers, but without signs of aggression - and in my experience, that’s accurate. There’s a spectrum, as with any breed, but natural reservation was genuinely one of the things that drew me to them.

The pressure for dogs to be immediately friendly with strangers largely serves the stranger, not the dog. A dog that takes their time is exercising due diligence. Appropriate social boundaries. Something we’d readily respect in a human.

There’s also a persistent assumption that reservation in adult dogs signals inadequate early socialisation. Sometimes that’s true - but a well-socialised dog of a naturally reserved breed, or any breed, may still be reserved. Socialisation does shape confidence and resilience, but it doesn’t necessarily alter how much social contact a dog seeks, or from whom.

Every dog deserves to be read as an individual - not measured against a template, or unrealistic expectations that we wouldn’t apply to other humans.

06/06/2026

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06/06/2026

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06/06/2026

06/06/2026

I was accused recently of “putting human emotions onto dogs”, and I genuinely cannot believe that in this century , with everything we now know, people are still saying this.

The idea that humans somehow own emotions, as if we’re mythical creatures with special feelings no other species has, is wild to me. We are mammals. Animals. Biological beings shaped by evolution just like every other species on this planet. Yes, we have a larger frontal cortex and we can reflect, plan and analyse in ways other animals can’t, but emotions? Emotions are not a human invention. They are a survival system.

Emotions evolved to help animals survive, bond, reproduce, avoid danger, protect themselves and navigate social relationships. Fear keeps you alive. Love bonds you to your family or group. Anger motivates protection. Joy reinforces behaviours that support wellbeing. If a rabbit didn’t feel fear, it wouldn’t run from a fox. If a mother dog didn’t feel attachment, she wouldn’t care for her pups. If social animals didn’t feel connection, their groups would fall apart. Emotions are not “human traits”. They are biological tools shared across species.

Science accepted this years ago. We’ve known for decades that animals experience primary emotions like fear, joy, anger, disgust, care, seeking and grief. This isn’t woke thinking it’s mainstream neuroscience and behavioural biology. The fact that people still argue about this tells me far more about human emotional shutdown than about dogs.

And here’s the part people get confused about: recognising emotions in dogs is not the same as humanising them. I don’t pretend dogs are tiny humans in fur coats. I don’t strip them of their species identity. In fact, it’s the opposite. I honour them as dogs. That’s exactly why I don’t get annoyed when they kill a mouse or roll in fox poo. It’s why I don’t dress them up like dolls or carry them around when they’d rather be walking, sniffing and experiencing the world in the way their species is designed to. Respecting their emotions and respecting their species are not opposites, they go hand in hand.

People love to say dogs don’t feel jealousy, but anyone who has lived with siblings, multiple dogs, or even just watched two dogs compete for attention can see jealousy with their own eyes. And yes, we now have studies confirming jealousy behaviours in dogs. Science is simply catching up with what guardians have known forever.

Animals grieve too. Some grieve quietly, some fall apart, some withdraw, some cling. Just like humans. If you’ve ever truly opened yourself to an animal, lived with them as an equal, not a possession, you’ve felt their love, their joy, their grief, their fear, their frustration. You don’t need a degree to see it. You just need a heart and the willingness to pay attention.

And yes, dogs feel fear, discomfort and shutdown when they’re mishandled. If someone believes a dog doesn’t feel scared when they’re yanked, shouted at or forced into situations they can’t cope with, that person is emotionally shut down themselves. Before assessing an animal’s emotional capacity, they might want to look at their own.

If you don’t believe me, look at the evidence. There is a ridiculous amount of research on animal emotion, cognition, attachment, grief, jealousy, empathy and social behaviour. We are long past the days of pretending animals are little robots reacting to stimuli.

They feel. They think. They choose. They suffer. They love.

And the sooner we accept that, the better we will treat them. Or maybe its just easier for many to not accept.

06/06/2026

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