25/05/2026
May bank holiday as an equestrian:
It is technically spring.
The calendar says spring.
The blossom says spring.
Your horse says, “Excellent, I shall now finish shedding enough hair to stuff a mattress and sweat all over"
But the weather has decided it is July in Spain and everyone on the yard is dressed for three different climates at once.
You arrive in a hoodie because it was chilly at 7am.
By 7:17am you are sweating like you’ve been dragged through a cross-country course backwards.
By 9am your hair is stuck to your face, your sports bra has become a medieval torture device, and you are trying to decide whether hosing yourself down would be inappropriate or standing thigh deep in the water trough.......
The horses, meanwhile, are either:
🐴 standing in the shade looking betrayed by the suns rays
🐴 rolling in the dust until they look abandoned and dishevelled
🐴 refusing to drink the clean water you lovingly provided
🐴 drinking from the one bucket that contains hay, flies, and some bird s**t.
🐴 losing winter coat in great clumps like a haunted teddy bear
🐴 pretending they have never seen a fly mask before
You had plans.
You thought, “Lovely bank holiday. I’ll have a nice ride" - no no no its like Satan's A- Hole out there!!!!!!!!
Instead, you spend three hours:
☀️ checking water
☀️ applying fly spray to an animal determined to not have it applies.
☀️ removing hair from places hair should not be because ..... sweat.
☀️ debating whether it is too hot to ride
☀️ deciding it is too hot to ride
☀️ feeling guilty for not riding ( always a firm fave )
☀️ remembering you ride for fun and not as part of some medieval loyalty oath
☀️ eating a 12 ice lollies in the tack room like they're going to hydrate you......
Then someone says, “Lovely weather, isn’t it?”
And you nod politely, while wearing boots, leggings, a vest top, hay in your bra, and the facial expression of a woman who has just carried 80 litres of water across a field because “they looked a bit thirsty.”
Spring bank holiday with horses.
Beautiful.
Peaceful.
Character-building.
Slightly crispy. 😂🐴☀️
