24/07/2023
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ this post contains information about death and the distressing discovery of finding a beloved pet who had died very unexpectedly ⚠️
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I should have posted this on Saturday, but I couldn't. I chose the pictures to post weeks ago but when it came to the day I just couldn't do it. I still struggle to accept that Irelys is gone.
Saturday marked one year since my world fell apart.
I never expected that taking Irelys to be neutered would result in her death. She died less than 12 hours after coming home from a local vet practice, and I found her dead in the kitchen early the next morning. My heart broke in that moment and will never be the same. My best friend and closest companion was gone. It didn't feel real. I collapsed in a heap on the floor after screaming, and Martin somehow appeared to catch me.
I can still see her lifeless body lying there, on the floor. My best friend, my soul cat. I torture myself thinking about the pain you must have been in and the fear you felt in your final moments. Especially after my own major haemorrhage, I know how quickly the body becomes disoriented during massive blood loss, and I still cry at how you were alone in those final moments. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry for taking you to that vets and for making the decision, out of fear of you developing pyo again. I thought I was making the right decision for you. But I made such a terrible mistake and it cost you your life. I will always hold myself responsible for this, as your caregiver.
But I also believe that you kept Raya and I safe and alive during our difficult birth. You adored your family and would have protected us at all costs. Somehow, I think you knew we would need you to guard us from the other side, so we had to lose you. Raya will always know she has a guardian angel 😇 🤍
Having Raya has given me so much happiness, but the pain never goes away. It never heals, life just becomes different, and we somehow learn to be without the ones we've lost.
Irelys, you were, and still are my best friend 💔 until we meet again my darling 🤍 rest in peace.
