Soft and Sound

30/08/2026

I am about to go on a little adventure to meet Capri's family in Slovenia at JJ-Lipizzans Slovenia. I mean, not that I am obsessed with him or anything.

As a parting gesture, here is Part 1 of a two part podcast with the incredible Ethos Equine and Kathleen Beckham. In this episode I ask Kathleen how she coped when things get hard with horses, as I try to navigate the injury and subsequent implications for my beloved young horse, Rural.

We hope this episode might help you realize that you're not alone, and that a life with horses has 'hard' built into it.

You can find it on all the usual podcast platforms.

30/08/2026

You do not have to know the answer to consider the question.

Somewhere along the line, many of us got scared about learning. In case we got the wrong answer and then got pulled in front of the class, maybe. Or, we got told off at home for failing the spelling test. Maybe we weren’t the kid in pony club who won rosettes and were in the metaphorical losers bin - and never want to feel like that again.

Which means, as adults, we have created all manner of strategies not to be exposed through the process of learning. The problem is, for anyone with a horse in their life, every day is a (home) school day! You don’t get to opt out.

Here is one strategy I see students and members (and my own brain) use to delay trying to work something out for ourselves. This is, to keep insisting more and more information is required before you can begin to contemplate the question. To want the answer, hard copied in triplicate, and on email, and maybe in a voice note with a certification that this is the absolute guaranteed correct solution. And sometimes, on the very rare occasion I can actually provide that, someone may still want that double marked by an independent verifier.

When our horse poses us a question (often a daily/hourly occurrence) rather than attempting to work it out for ourselves, we go looking for someone else’s gold stamped answer. Now for sure, it makes sense to seek out information and suggested solutions from all those other people and horses who’ve walked the path before you. That’s why we have teachers and read books.

However; a common avoidance habit in scared learners is to get stuck here and just keeping seeking more and more information, rather than going and exploring the question with a curiosity for what might show up.

The next time your horse asks you a question, if you recognise this pattern in yourself, maybe just take a beat. Before you sign up for that course, or ask someone else, or order a new book on the subject (my particular favourite) consider what you already know and what you’ve already tried. Very often someone may realise they haven’t actually tried very much at all.

You could, instead, just have a stab at answering the question for yourself. Because, these days, as a full grown human, no one is going to give an F for the wrong answer. You just get to do with the information what you will, and jettison the rest.

29/08/2026

Des and his rediscovered brilliance - Part 5.
The actual training and what we did. Be warned, there is very little technical information to be found in this post.

Yesterday, Des offered Passage, for the second time in his whole life. Des is not a natural Passag-er, unlike his best friend Capri who is yet to be convinced that mere trotting is all that is required. I have also never, ever trained a horse to this level and do almost everything as a solo operator, at home - with only my brain to draw on. Which is not always the sharpest tool available. I do occasionally bring in the big guns, and ask my friend Sarah to cast her beadies.

After Des's dental surgery, when there became a glimmer of possibility we could ride together again, I made him some promises. I have no idea if they meant anything to him, but they meant something to me. I told him I would stop traveling him such long distances. He has always said yes to traveling, and loads like a legend, but does he love it? No, I don't think so. I told him we would focus on things he enjoys doing, and not worry too much about the rest.

I also spent time really considering things Des has historically found hard and wondering whether he would truly benefit from getting better in those areas, or if I could sack them off. This is an ever changing beast and I re-explore things I thought might not be valuable, to see whether now they could be. An endlessly evolving experiment.

Whether anyone has opinions about this or not, I did almost all of this through riding. Not work on the ground, or in-hand training, not a selection of strengthening exercises over poles, or separate postural strengthening options. Not a carrot stretch to be seen. I just rode. Mostly, because after so many years together, I have always found this to be the way to be most useful to him. We all have to make our own choices based on what we know at that time, this has been mine.

We hacked a lot. On our local moor and in the woods - as Des feels happy and safe here and that was what I wanted for him above all else. We did almost all of this in some bitless set up or other, following his tooth extraction; this was all he could stick for quite some time.

Then, after years of wondering about the sanity of getting a mostly Veiga Lusitano, (who, as people who have have seen him in person know, chose break neck speed and whip-round spinning above all else), I decided to see if I could harness his super powers. I played with things which were not about speed, but about power. Previously, Des has always chosen speed, and I have just hung on as best I could. Now, with nothing to lose, I started to see if I could harness his desire to express his energy, but in an upwards rather than forwards direction. I am sure this sounds so obvious dear readers, but I refer you to my point above about brains and their sharpness.

AND - this feels important - hence the capitals; I endeavored to tell him he was amazing at any given opportunity and to enjoy every single thing he offered. Even the unexpected levades which feel a bit beyond my current understanding, or the slightly wild jambettes which often punctuate our sessions. I am just so very, very pleased just to have him on the ground, rather than under it.

I will, over the next few months offer a 'How to learn how to teach your horse to learn' course. Or some other variation on that theme. This will be about understanding who your horse is, and bringing out their personal brilliance. There will be more technical aspects about the art of schooling a horse. Because, within what I have written about there was a whole lot of emphasis on balance, straightness, precision (my nemesis) all based on becoming the best teacher I can for my horse, and their best student.

Thanks to Des for hanging on in there. The final chapters in this little exploration will about his feet, cranial sacral, and his new friendship.

Photo features 'Un-impressed of Dartmoor, with his rosette for being the best.

26/08/2026

Life is difficult and then you die. And other inspirational thoughts.

In writing the series of posts about Des, I would hate it to sound like, 'And then, as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared...' (Ref for British readers only I fear). By which I mean, if it in any way presents as 'I did a bit of umming and ahhing, then over the course of a few weeks I worked out what to do. And it was resolved.' Well, that's not how it went.

In the next post or two I am going to write about how I learned to ride and school Des in a way which was in his favor. And what I will probably never, ever to be able to clear enough about is how achingly hard it was. And how many mistakes I made. And how often I would NOT do a good job by my horse, and would lie in bed worrying that I had been a terrible person.

The reason I want to share this is because many people I teach think they must be doing something wrong because it is hard. And what I try to kindly ask is, 'Where did you get the idea this was going to be easy? Whoever gave you that impression?'

Maybe social media doesn't help. I know if I spend too long watching videos of Manuel Borba Veiga, and then go out and ride my own horse, the gap between his life and mine can feel a little startling. However, even without the glossy gloss of SM, we still have this tendency to believe that it should be easier if it is correct...And that if it's feeling hard it must be wrong.

The only way we ever hone our skills and improve is to be constantly bumping up against the edge of what we know and what we can do easily. That doesn't mean we don't appreciate all the things learned and understood as a result of prior efforts. But, there has to be an element of allowing things to be hard and not becoming frustrated with that fact.

And the big one - letting ourselves make mistakes. I know people will launch into the comments and tell me there is no such thing as a mistake: there is only learning. Which is true. However, as a student being told to do something differently; or as a trainer, realizing the thing you have been plugging away with for the past few months was a dead end - it can feel like a mistake. And we hate to make mistakes, for all manner of reasons. Not least of which is most of us want to do the right thing by our horse. And yet, the only way to learn is to allow there to be mistakes.

What I learned with Des was that in sticking with things which were easy for me, I did not improve things for him. I had to plug away at things which I found very difficult and challenge myself to get better. This was not always fun.

I also made many mistakes and I am happy to call them mistakes. Some of them really sucked and I am ashamed I made those mistakes. Some of them provided me with invaluable information which meant I could then help Des a whole lot more.

If we really are passionate about riding 'The bridlepath less travelled', then we also need to thank M Scott Peck for the first line of that book - 'Life is difficult'. Once you accept that truth, nothing else feels so hard.

24/08/2026

Des and how he came back to shining glory - Part 4.

The Bosal and the Double Bridle.

For years I tried to ride Des in the snaffle bit, because as we are endlessly told, the best riders can help their horse with just a simple snaffle. However, Des could just not get along. Obviously I thought this was because I was a terrible rider and did a whole lot of hand wringing about my lack of capabilities.

This did at least ensure I really committed to improving my seat and hands; but Des continued to feel pretty horrible with a snaffle in.

Alongside this I was successfully helping other horses to improve and prosper in ‘just’ the snaffle so kept changing the design of bit in case it was that. Time saving note - it wasn’t, and I wasted a lot of money on very expensive bits.

Now you may not remember, as I’ve shared so much about this horse, but at the age of 5 Des was diagnosed with spinal cord compression C5/6. This was revealed in many small ways, and then one day in a very big way - when his movement became completely ataxic. He was treated, but that didn’t change the fact that the base of his neck is significantly compromised.

And what I felt, whenever I put the snaffle in, was Des drop the base of his neck and run. And what I saw on video is what I describe as a ‘hammer head’: all angles and straight lines - no curves and lifting roundness.

I tried a couple of things, including riding in a side pull and riding bridle-less. Des was more mentally relaxed with these options, but posturally things deteriorated. In fact, after a few bridleless sessions Des actually got more worried, as the base of his neck completely collapsed and he could not find his balance. A horse so physically compromised needs quite a lot of support if he’s going to carry a rider.

At this time I was fortunate enough to have been shipped a good quality bosal from a friend across the ocean, and I was learning how to use it with one of my other horses. I studiously watched videos and asked for advice and was getting along pretty well. I reshaped it to fit Des’s face and put it on…

From the moment I sat upon my golden wonder everything felt different. For the first time ever, I felt Des raise the base of his neck and lift his withers. We set off in a school walk and I knew we had found something which finally could help my horse. A simple loop of raw hide and a tiny piece of leather. Oh, and some very expensive well weighted reins. People more educated than I can explain the action of the bosal but to my mind it does a couple of things Des really appreciated;

- It acts with a pre signal
- it promotes lateral flexion entirely through weight and suggestion, so the horse finds it ‘for themselves’
- the heel of the Bosal sits in the chin groove and much like a curb chain promotes lift of the base of the neck and rounding of the poll

All of these things combined created a stability and lift which Des had never been able to find before.

We discovered piaffe coming down a turf slope on the moor in the bosal. He offered his first ever flying change cantering around gorse bushes in the bosal.

An entirely classical piece of equipment through action, with all the outward appearance a lot more Marlboro Red.

When I did return to a bit I put him in the double which has an action far closer to that of the bosal. Heavens to Betsy; two bits in his mouth, what a thing. But Des doesn’t mind, the same qualities of stabilisation, subtle requests and lifting of the base of the neck can be developed with the double in a way that - for Des - the snaffle cannot.

My other horses I continued to ride in the snaffle (and often the bosal if it suited them, or the side pull, or bridleless ) but for Des, I had to be lead by what his body needed. And the bosal, with the double following along behind, have helped him the most. If I was only allowed to keep one piece of equipment to ride a horse in, these days it would be the bosal.

Note to all, you can’t get these suckers cheaply. Unfortunately they do have to be the real deal and that does mean handing over some slightly more serious money.

22/08/2026

Des and his miraculous recovery - Part 3.

As you may already have clocked, this is less miracle and more thousands of hours, and thousands of pounds, and a horse with a strong heart. If you haven't read Parts 1 and 2 you can scroll down to find them. Part 2 detailed Des, his many colics, and how that was resolved significantly through changing the grass he ate.

However, another contributing factor was pain. Des was in pain and I knew it, but we couldn't find out where this pain was coming from. One of my rather dubious super powers is I know when something is 'up' with a horse. I have had a number of horses over the years who I KNEW there was something wrong with even if we could never find out specifically what it was. I could write a whole series of posts about these, but I'd never have a horse again if I did.

Des always says yes, so I could ride him still (although I stopped doing that) but he looked like a bag of spanners. Dull coat, lacking sparkle, and increasingly the weirdest looking neck. We began the summer of the never-ending investigations which I am still paying for now. Stomach, feet, back, neck, endless bloods and other tests. Nothing revealed. I kept muttering about his teeth but that was viewed as unlikely.

However, one therapist agreed teeth could be a player so I called on the brilliant Keith Evans Equine Dentist outside of Des's normal dental schedule. As ever, Des's teeth all looked marvelous...however, Keith said one of his molars had a teeny-tiny gap next to it, which would warrant further investigation. He pushed for us to get x rays, so we did. Thank you Keith. Really.

Thus, the horror of Des's two lower molars were revealed. Both of which had ossified roots doing all manner of crazy things such as sending roots up through his lower jaw to appear under his tongue. Nothing had ever been visible from the outside. No wonder he didn't like the bit. On that front at least my conscience was clear as I had been riding him bitless for a while (before I stopped riding him altogether). This rotting and then ossifying had been going on for some considerable time; and my horse had been living with it without pain relief. For that, I will always be sorry.

It was some Hurculean effort to remove these teeth due to the state they were in, and I am extremely grateful for the efforts of the vet who I know lost sleep over Des. One tooth took 3 visits over 2 weeks to remove. You can imagine they state we were collectively all in about this.

Once removed, really quickly, Des started to perk up. And as bodies do,his began to heal. Nature is miraculous - that part is true.

Photos show Des's neck 4 weeks apart, before and after the teeth were removed.

20/08/2026

Des and his remarkable recovery - Part 2.

Healthy land, healthy horse.

It is clear that importing a horse from one biosphere to another may bring with it some challenges. I brought Des over from Portugal as a just gelded 5 year old, and landed him in Devon; the county of green rolling hills and plentiful rain (or at least that used to be the case...).

Des always struggled with his digestion, and in later years this went from the odd bloaty belly and mild gastric discomfort, to colic after colic after colic. It seemed anything could tip him over the edge, but the grass growing months were the worst. It got to the stage I barely dared turn him out between March and November. On at least two occasions I questioned whether I should just call it a day for him; he was so often colicking.

Then, a few years ago, my forward thinking vet suggested I look at the Pastures for Life grazing system, based on the regenerative practices of mob grazing used for cattle. I was in the process of beginning an MA in Mind, Movement and Ecology and becoming more cognizant of the green deserts created by over grazing, soil compaction and other ways we degrade the land. Between my poorly horse, my thoughtful vet and a growing realization that maybe short stressed grass wasn't as nature intended, I knew I had to change something.

In a former life I worked in wildlife conservation, but this focused on protecting and enhancing 'wild' sites, I didn't have much of an idea of how I could apply these ideas to the management of a relatively small, over-grazed horse field.

My good friend Adam took it upon himself to watch the video from PfL and using his much more organized and logical brain, planned where to start; reconfiguring the field into a series of 'grazing cells'. The video was based on ponies, so we realized my paddocks would have to be larger to accommodate horses (which reduced the number of grazing cells possible). We took on board her advice that you are going to spend several years messing about with what works and what doesn't.

The aim is to ensure none of the individual paddocks are grazed down shorter than about 6". And to move the horses out of that cell every 2-3 of weeks. In a full blown mob grazing system you would move them sooner, but this is manageable for me with the amount of horses and land I have. Additionally, they don't return to that 'grazing cell' for about 6 weeks (ideally longer). It has been something of a mission to work out how to achieve this, and there have been many changes along the way. Initially I harrowed the paddocks after the horses moved, now I just let the birds do the work.

The benefits of this are varied and many. Here are some;

- This longer grass gets flattened as the horses graze, which creates a 'thatch' of grass. This thatch traps moisture and protects the soil from erosion. The benefits of this couldn't be more obvious than during this summer of drought and fire. In the mornings, (even in the burning heat), the tiny bit of morning dew is trapped, and later in the day it is still damp by the soil.

-Because the grass doesn't get nibbled down to nothing, various species of grass, flowers and herbs which have disappeared (due to being outcompeted by grass which can tolerate over grazing) begin to reappear. This greater diversity of plants invites a greater variety of insects, and alongside them birds and mammals join in the fun. My horse fly problem significantly reduced as a result of this jamboree.

- I regularly worm count and all horses consistently come back as zero.

-As the grass sward isn't being stressed by being cropped so short, the grass itself is less challenging for the horses to eat. It took about three years for my field to recover from the former over grazing, so for the first two I was still careful with Des. However, even by year 2 he was staying out for longer and longer periods. Year 4 (which is where I am now) he can be turned out for as long as he would like....

None of this has been straightforward and it's an ever evolving experiment. I am still very careful in the spring months as those short flushes of early grass are always challenging for Des. I have a sacrificial space for these couple of months where the horses eat hay and not grass.

I have had many rearrangements of paddock size and lay-out as I try to work out how to do better; and will change it again next year. I hope to add a shelter next spring (currently they still come into the barn during the day) and create rain water collection options. I also aim to plant more trees and shrubs to better project the soil and further enhance diversity.

A caveat is that my starting point was an unfertilized Dartmoor field. This was not fertilized rye grass. I am sure it would have taken longer to safely allow access to so much long grass if I didn't have a field predisposed to revert to a wildflower meadow. When I had a horse more inclined to weight gain, he wore a muzzle to reduce the volume he ate. This is a compromise, but it felt like a good enough one.

The plus side I didn't see coming was the total joy I have experienced in not only witnessing my horse regain his health, but the land regain its. I love to see the Buzzard sitting on the fence post looking for small mammals in the thatched grass. The clouds of small birds cascading out of the grass as the horses walk through it, and the dragonflies, moths and butterflies enjoying the meadow for reasons each of their own. Even during this most challenging of summers, this little field has provided something of an oasis for wildlife - and my sanity.

Des, now in his later teenage years, is finally not on a constant round of colic meds, emergency vets visits and a spring and summer stuck indoors. I thank him for pushing me into making this change. He is the healthiest he has ever been. His needs have benefitted us all.

Is it perfect? No. Will I forever be finding ways to manage it better? I am sure. But it's a start.

19/08/2026

It’s interesting how one’s priorities change over time. Or maybe it’s not time, maybe it’s the menopause.

I used to think the pinnacle to be achieved with Des was piaffe and changes, and who knows, maybe passage. Having made some significant headway with all these things, there is no doubt they’re pretty satisfying. Des, it transpires, can offer up a pretty mint piaffe; and he and I are both rather pleased with it. He’s also pretty smug about his one sided flying change (TBC…).

However, I have realised the thing which gives me greatest pleasure is knowing he has a friend.

When Capri and I returned last night, and both horses expressed sheer delight at being reunited; my heart did explodeth. Des, always the greatest loser as far as other horses are concerned, the billiest of the no mates - finally has a comrade.

This, above all else, gives me the greatest satisfaction. I would sacrifice all the rest to see him with a good friend.

14/08/2026

A short video summary of the first 6 months with Maestoso Capriola, ###VIII. An unbacked 8 year old Lipizzaner gelding.

I was lucky enough to be gifted Capri in March of this year, and agreed to have him without having met each other. This was a huge move for him and unsettled him enormously; much more than any of us involved anticipated. The first few months were A LOT for both of us!

However, things have improved immeasurably, and we are really enjoying doing things together now. He is Des's BFF and I cannot imagine a day without him in it.

Of course I look back and see many things I could have done differently. Especially in those early days, where I misjudged quite how overwhelmed he was, and was personally a little shocked by how much our peaceful world was disturbed.

However, I did what I could in the moment and will use this experience do better in the future. I have learned a lot from him and he appears to enjoying our ever expanding range of adventures . I have also now begun to sit on him...What a treat that has been after hundreds of hours of ground work!

Thank you to everyone who was involved in organizing this, to the wonderful human who let me have him, and JJ Lipizzans for breeding this total bobby dazzler.

13/08/2026

I was fortunate enough to be asked to read some of Keystone Equine's upcoming book prior to release and I can tell you it's a blinder! Almost on a daily basis I recall something Lee wrote about and how it brings something useful to my own life (with horses and beyond).

I hope you treat yourself to a copy.

Friends, may I ask a favour?

One of the hardest parts of releasing a book is reaching beyond the people who already know my work. Red Barn Books is a small independent publisher, which Ayesha runs alongside her work as a teacher. With only a small advertising budget, word-of-mouth truly does make a difference.

If you’ve enjoyed my writing over the years, would you consider sharing this post? You might add a few words about why you follow my writing, or simply say, “I thought someone here might enjoy this.” A personal recommendation carries more weight than any advertisement ever could.

There is absolutely no pressure to order a book yourself. Helping us introduce THINK. FEEL. RIDE. to someone new would be a wonderful show of support.

Here’s just one story we’d love you to share — with a horse-loving friend, or in a group where book recommendations are welcome. Thank you for reading, commenting, sharing and making this community what it is. Every book that finds its way to the right reader begins with someone saying, “I think you might like this…”

***

RISING TROT

Can you recall your most sublime moments in the saddle, when you knew that it was as good as it would ever get? Is it even possible to narrow down a lifetime with horses, to just those precious few snapshots stored in our memory? Yes. I believe this, with all my heart.

In the first memory, I am sixteen years old. It is a Saturday in June and I am on Eclipse. We have been two years in weekly dressage lessons, in the hands of the most brilliant teacher. Every spring, Eclipse leaves the boarding barn and comes home to stay on the farm with me. During the cold months, he is boarded out, thanks to my unstoppable mother who somehow works two jobs to pay for it all.

Yes, I am incredibly fortunate, because loving this horse is the best thing that could happen to me. On Eclipse, I become a centauress. Without him, I am an awkward misfit at school.

Eclipse, like most Thoroughbreds, has an unbelievable canter. I am young, summer holidays loom, my saddle and boots fit perfectly. Everything is just so comfortable. My horse and I are both just so sure.

I swing on easily, sigh and settle. We cross the railway tracks that run nearby our home. In so doing, we are faced with about five miles of open, sandy road allowance, leading all the way to Gladys Ridge. This stretch is seldom used and then, only for farmers moving their equipment to and from the fields. On this brilliant blue day, it belongs solely to us.

Eclipse is, by now, a medium-level dressage horse. He is light and beautifully balanced. With one hand in my vest pocket and the other on his double reins, we canter this entire stretch of dirt road. He blows happily through his nostrils with every stride and his bit and bradoon clink softly.

I somehow know, while sitting to that effortless movement, so awash in the joy emanating from my beautiful friend, that this will be one of the best moments of my life. All these lessons, all these tears, all my bloodied knees, have paled in the perfection of this one glorious morning.

I know that I will never ride this horse’s like again. It’s a profound realization for a sixteen-year-old and you know, as it turns out, I was right.

The second perfect memory to lodge in my heart, I am driving the chestnut Welsh mare, Kinistino. She is that rarity among harness horses and ponies: extremely sensitive and energetic, but honest as the day is long. Everything about our movement is borne from deep knowing and mutual trust. We are heading southwest, away from the babies, housework, money woes and all the jangles that make up early married life.

Kinistino is eating up the miles alongside the waving barley fields, her feet beating a rhythmic tattoo with her spectacular trot. The tug buckles jingle, her ears are up and our reins bounce with every step. From the fence line comes the beautiful song of the meadowlarks. I know, with certainly, that this, right here, is heaven on earth.

All the times I have wondered what the promised land might be like — and there it was, found within an ordinary day. From that time on, I’ve had only to close my eyes and I remember.

***

An excerpt from THINK. FEEL. RIDE. Coming soon, the pre-order is open now!

www.redbarnbooks.ca