Wendy Cottis Counselling

27/08/2022

27/08/2022

This was shared with me and I thought it apt for me at the moment. One thing I have learnt through my counselling is that we are never alone in what we are experiencing so I thought I would share it with you.

Found on Google from twitter.com

25/04/2022

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24/04/2022

I feel we need to be aware of this.

Totally agree.

25/03/2022

We are nature

With the warmer weather upon us, albeit for a short while according to the weather forecast, we may be feeling more at one with nature.

I'm sure like me you love the feel of the spring sun on you and signs of new life. It reminds me of new beginnings and regeneration, which increases my sense of wellbeing.

I have a new beginning in my practice in that I am now able to offer Ecotherapy to clients. This means that counselling sessions can be conducted outdoors.

Some of us find it easier or just more natural to talk as we walk. It removes the intensity that some experience with traditional ‘sitting in the same room’ therapy. It provides sensory stimulation and therapy from our environment.

Woodland and a nature reserve are my choices for locations for Ecotherapy with each of them offering their own form of therapy.

The trees of the woodland help me feel some perspective about my existence in that they have been there for years hosting loads of life and will long outlive me. Woodland noises such as birds, breezes in the trees and even their creaking provide me an alternative to what is going on in my head.

It is the same with the nature reserve, wildflowers, trees, water and birds all calm my senses and enable me to regain perspective.

The clocks go forward this weekend so we will have lighter evenings to enjoy more outside activities. Signs of spring are all around with trees in blossom and flowers bringing bright colours to our surroundings.

As humans we are part of nature, spending time immersed in nature and understanding its impact on us can help liberate us from other preoccupations and find our place in our own lives, helping us live more fully. If Ecotherapy is something you would like to experience please get in touch with me.

25/03/2022

02/01/2022

New Year - no pressure!

I really mean no pressure - we are all absorbing the underlying pressures of living with Covid, the short dark days, looming credit card bills, maybe dry January, maintaining relationships and numerous other things without committing to New Year’s resolutions that could lead us to feeling under more stress and pressure.

If there are changes we want to bring about this year approach them in a realistic way. Take one small step towards achieving goals - be flexible about timescales - we don’t have to do everything this month or even this year. We just have to be going in the right direction.

Over committing ourselves and leaving us with no time for ourselves can lead to us feeling burnt out and resentful - hardly conducive to meeting our needs or aspirations, which can then lead to us feeling hopeless and despairing at the lack of our own achievement.

When we are being harsh on ourselves or self critical try to think about what advice we would give our friends, partners or family - and then take it yourself.

Everywhere at the moment is the ‘be kind’ to people mantra - well we should also remember to be kind to ourselves. Show ourselves some compassion for all the things we achieve everyday, and how we all manage our personal struggles each and every day.

Saying ‘no’ to others, or even ourselves when we have taken on too much, doesn’t have to result in hurt feelings or resentment.

Being able to be honest about looking after our emotional and mental health is important. Counselling can help with exploring if and where setting boundaries could help 2022 be a fulfilling and rewarding year for each of us.

10/12/2021

We don’t have to love Christmas

Not all of us love or even like Christmas. For some of us it brings back sad or bad memories.

Some of us resent the rituals we have to go through just because its Christmas. Some of us find it hard to tolerate the people we have to just because its Christmas.

There are lots of other differences this one day of the year brings that we may not be comfortable with that leave us feeling awkward, uncomfortable, sad, lonely or just fed up with everyone else’s apparent festive spirit.

The emergence of Omicron just adds to any health anxieties we are already harbouring from the past two years - acknowledging this and keeping yourself feeling safe will be important to you and this is good.

I guess my message is that it is ok to sit it out - it is only one day.

What is important though is to make efforts to stay connected to some people whose presence you do find helpful and comforting through this period whether thats via the phone, a quick visit or online. Being connected to or with others is a basic human need, it is important for our wellbeing.

Think of something to do for yourself that you will enjoy, that may be indulging in a boxset binge, the day spent reading a good book, a bit of baking or even a big task that you have been putting off.

Whatever you do, do it for yourself and know you are taking care of yourself.

Counsellors understand that Christmas and New Year are painful times for many and can help you explore your thoughts around these times and find ways to look after yourself during them. We know it's not all as rosy as Christmas cards depict.

12/11/2021

Choose courage over fear when it comes to trying new things

Image: https://morganharpernichols.com

11/11/2021

Self care is important for us

Now well into November some of us will be having a hard time staying motivated or feeling a sense of wellness or emotional stability that we feel during the longer days, sunshine and a warmer temperature.

The extra hours of darkness and colder damp weather, the festive season approaching that we may not be feeling with the same enthusiasm as those around us- all this can make us dissatisfied with our lives. On top of these factors some of us will be coping with bereavement, loss, illness, relationship breakdowns and work pressures as well as worrying about Covid.

If this is how we feel we should strive to pay attention to our thoughts, feelings and emotions and learn to listen to what our bodies are telling us. If we need some down time we should try to make some.

Making more time for the things we enjoy is vital to our wellbeing - for some of us that is being outdoors, spending time with pets, gardening or simply walking. For some it is setting a goal and working towards it.

Looking after our diet and sleep helps us rebalance our bodies. For those of us who may be suffering from Season Adjustment Disorder a SAD lamp may help along with vitamin D maybe.

Exploring how we feel with a counsellor can help us recognise when we need to impose boundaries on our time in order to keep ourselves mentally and emotionally well. It can also help us identify triggers to low mood such as seasonal adjustments, unhappy memories, a lack of time for ourselves, competing pressures on us and relationships that no longer serve us well.

A good counselling relationship helps us realise we are in control of ourselves, there are things we can do to look after ourselves better. We can give ourselves permission to hunker down for a while and pay attention to our needs. We can close the door on the world, put on our pyjamas, be indulgent and devote time to ourselves.

11/10/2021

Relationships matter

When we feel that something is amiss in our relationships it can be disconcerting. We spend time wondering if it is something we have done, said or maybe should have said but didn't.

This can make us anxious, sad or even depressed over time, especially if we are experiencing it frequently.

All of us crave connection, it is normal. It is part of what makes us human. Having good relationships with family members, friends, work colleagues and others we spend time with makes us feel loved, cared for and is part of the bigger picture of our life.

Building deep relationships with those we like and care for requires effort, openness, honesty and skills that we sometimes need to develop more fully.

Counselling can help us explore difficulties we may be having in maintaining our relationships. Perhaps we can’t seem to trust people in the same way that others do, we may feel unable to open up as genuine humans in the same way we see others opening up or maybe we don’t have the confidence to approach people we need to have relationships with and are therefore left feeling isolated.

Having good relationships brings more opportunities and positive experiences to our lives so we live a more fulfilling life.

Working with a counsellor to look at how we experience our relationships can be helpful in identifying obstacles that cause some of our difficulties. We can identify unhelpful thoughts we may experience in building relationships and learn how to replace them with helpful techniques that will establish better connections with others.

The counsellor client relationship aims to be honest, trusting, open and reliable, providing a strength for the client to draw upon both in the sessions and when forging their own social and personal connections. Counselling can help us forge stronger connections for a healthier and happier relationships.

02/10/2021

Unburdening can be helpful

It helps to talk our problems and issues through with other people. Sometimes this is hard as we may feel that our friends and families have their own things to deal with or we may be frightened of being judged by them.

Talking to a counsellor provides the opportunity to be really heard. We can say or share what is bothering us in a totally honest way.

Counsellors can help us explore exactly what it is we are feeling or experiencing and then help us identify the options available to help improve the situation.

Sometimes we realise we have lost sight of ourselves, this can be confusing. Counselling can help us unpick what it is that is influencing changes in us and how we can better manage our own emotions.

Being in charge of our emotions and reactions helps us have healthier relationships with those around us - friends, family and work colleagues. Sharing our feelings and emotions is healthy and leaves us feeling more connected with one another.

Counselling helps us work through life’s problems and grow as individuals.