05/05/2026
🐾 Progress Doesn’t Always Look Like Progress
If you’re navigating life with a reactive dog and it’s starting to feel overwhelming or isolating, take 5 minutes for yourself - make a drink, pause, and give yourself a bit of space to reset…
One of the strangest things about living with dogs is that sometimes the biggest wins look… incredibly unimpressive. Nobody claps because your dog walked past one person without barking!
There’s no trophy for getting through a walk without needing to apologise to a stranger, or wrestling your loyal companion into a hedge to let someone get by. And yet—those moments can feel huge. Because progress with dogs is rarely dramatic. I have lived this very thing.
About 20 years ago, I had a reactive Rottweiler. At the time, the breed was already under a lot of negative media attention, and I was determined not to let her become another statistic. That decision pushed me to start learning properly, I quickly realised that much of what I thought I understood about dogs needed unpicking and rebuilding.
While guarding breeds can be more predisposed to certain behaviours, her reactivity escalated after a bad experience as an older puppy, when she was pinned down by an off-lead dog. What made it harder was that she could get on with some dogs - it just felt completely unpredictable. I became obsessed with trying to figure out what triggered her… what it was about that dog and not another.
After a long time, I realised that a lot of it wasn’t just about what was happening out on walks. Much of it was already in motion before we’d even left the house. Her internal state…and mine - played a huge role. In fact, one of her triggers was me.
At the start, I only counted a walk as “successful” if she passed another dog without reacting. (That’s a whole conversation in itself - i learnt quickly dogs can learn to mask very well). The reality was, that criteria was far too high for her, and for a long time it meant we never “succeeded.” Unsurprisingly, I became increasingly anxious too and it effected all areas of my life (my poor husband!😅)
Everything shifted when I lowered the bar and started walking in places we could relax, i had the help of a brilliant trainer who taught me so much. Instead of focusing on the big picture, I started rewarding the small things - like her checking in with me when prompted and eventually offering those check-ins voluntarily. What followed was years of teaching her small patterns to help her cope in those situations.. and not working her over her threshold – Adrenaline up/Learning down.
The results came quicker than I expected. She began to realise she had another option, but the key was catching her early, before she tipped into overwhelm. I knew she would always be reactive to some degree, but I also began to see that I could make things better…for both of us.
To many people, a voluntary check-in might seem like a small or underwhelming achievement, but when you’re working with reactivity, those foundations are everything. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s the one step you simply can’t afford to skip.
It’s not usually a magical before-and-after moment where everything suddenly clicks. It’s smaller than that…..
It’s the pause before reacting.
The quicker recovery
The check-in instead of the lunge… (and so much more…)
The problem is, when progress is quiet, we often miss it. We focus on what still needs fixing instead of what has already changed. I Was very guilty of only looking at the problems.
We notice the bad walk and forget the 5 better ones before. We remember the embarrassing moment and ignore the hundred successes that quietly came before it (i think there is a life lesson here somewhere!!)😁
Dogs are quite good at forcing us to confront this. They don’t care about perfection. They care about:
Safety
Trust
Consistency
That’s where real training lives - not in one perfect session, but in all the ordinary ones nobody posts about.
If you’re living with a reactive dog, it can feel isolating but you’re not alone. Not even close. There’s a whole community of people quietly navigating the same challenges, the same small wins that don’t always look like much from the outside and lots of these people are experienced owners – wondering what went wrong!
So much is at play – genetics, breed, early experiences, positive socialisation, learned associations, environment, emotional state…the list goes on.
And the people who know… really know. They understand why you cross the road early, why you’re always scanning the environment, why a simple walk can take so much thought and energy. They don’t judge the distance you keep or the choices you make - they see the work behind it.
But it’s also so important to make space for walks that feel calm - for both of you. Not every outing has to be a training session or a test. Finding quieter places, lowering the pressure, and allowing both you and your dog to actually relax can make a huge difference (even if its not a dog park and is just a very quiet footpath). Those moments of ease matter just as much as the progress.
You’re not the only one doing this. And to the right people, none of it needs explaining.
Here she is the little.......monkey🤪🙊🫶
