22/05/2026
Sometimes it will make you cry and I’m 100% ok with that. I spoke on the podcast this week about how I felt like I was missing the mark with my horses at the moment, how each of them seems to not be feeling totally their best. Moving to this farm has been the most amazing, complex, challenging, rewarding shift in my life and that isn’t to be discredited. I have shifted from not having total control to having all the control, all the responsibility for everything and that’s enormous. No wonder my connection with my horses has slipped. I had a communication with Blondie yesterday and the line that hit me was this
“Miri distracted. Manic, juggling too many things. Not present enough. Expectations flip flop. ‘I haven’t found my feet yet.’”
I knew this before I was told it in plain English. I knew my own horses haven’t been given my total presence and our relationships and how they are feeling is suffering.
I permanently am doing 2 maybe 3 things at the same time. Even now i’m writing this while eating lunch. Because i’m always playing catch up. And the truth is you can’t really do multiple things well at the same time. You may scrape by and complete the tasks but you won’t have done it well necessarily and my horses 110% know and feel this. It’s a type of incongruity. not being truthful with how we feel because I know I can’t do multiple things well and so do they. This breaks the trust they have in me and filters down into everything they do.
I struggle with discipline of myself so I find myself scattering myself too thinly, not saying no when I need to and working on everything all at once, this does come from financial pressure too. I’m so grateful to Blondie for showing me this lesson. Reminding me to make time for her and for myself. Because my time with her isn’t going to the Olympics or even going to a competition it’s just about being. So in being present with her, slowing down doing 1 thing at a time will also be a time for me to give that to myself not just her. And there we have the learning healing cycle of horses and humans. Summarised in a little story about Miri and Blondie ❤️🩹
