28/04/2026
Let me introduce you to this bozo. What's that now? You already know her?! π
I did too, until yesterday... ππ
On my last walk of the day, 4 dogs, 3 of them in the car already & just turned to help the blind, deaf gentlemen dog into the back.
My first mistake was putting this idiot in the car. My second was letting her in the front. My third mistake was shutting the doors (to prevent other 2 leaping out again....) my fourth mistake was LEAVING THE KEYS IN THE CAR (ignition)..... π³
So, what happened next was this. I went to open boot to let old boy in. Boot wouldn't open, so thought a lead might have got trapped in it. Try side door. Locked. Hang on; what? LOCKED!!
OMFG!!! MY DU***SS DOG HAS LOCKED THE GOD DAM CAR!!!
On what apparently was the hottest day of the year.... But that's not even the worst part - the dumb blonde SHUT THE Β£@%%& WINDOWS TOO!!!!! π₯΅
So now I have 3 hotdogs π sitting in my car, 2 looking at me for help, but du***ss grinning at me like she's just won an Emmy.
I phone the 'Him indoors' to explain. Tell him no time to call a Locksmith, as they'd have all cooked to a crisp by the time one turned up.... Going to have to smash a window out.
So I find a metal padlock. I proceed to beat the crap out of this glass, which is, by the way, UNBREAKABLE. Scratched to fudge, but no break.
So I start cursing that du***ss that's glaring at me through the window whilst laughing at me, sweating, defeated & dejected.
As I curse one last time, I hit the main driver's door window with one last smack & all of a sudden, the door lock pops up.....
I open the door so quickly, I fall backwards. Du***ss is now sitting in the driver's seat, gawping at me.
The most idiotic, "dumb is forever" blonde bimbo of a dog, is now smiling at me, like butter wouldn't melt.
I pick myself up off the floor, grab those keys, put my oldie in the back, blondie moves over, & I reflect on how ridiculous this all sounds. But every word was true. Just ask the Him indoors. Oh, & her.
Good job I love my little nut bag, otherwise things could've ended quite differently...... πππ€£π€£π€£
πΆβ€