25/06/2021
"Confidence giver wanted"
Who should be giving confidence to whom?!
These are some snippets I found during a quick search on a horse-ad website.
Please don't get me wrong, I totally understand that you can be scared. Maybe you had a bad fall; were dragged around the field or a horse didn't stop galloping when you were out riding. These are all very valid reasons to be scared.
However ...should we be asking our horses to give us confidence? Should they be holding our hands and tell us that it's going to be ok? That there's nothing to be worried about?
First of all, most accidents with horses happen, because of the horse's lack of confidence...simply, because humans haven't put enough time and effort into understanding how horses think and react; how horses feel and what to look out for when a horse is starting to feel a bit nervous. It's not the big reactions that I'm talking about...it's the subtle change of a facial expression, a small tension in their body, or registering the energy change when your horse feels disconnected. It is our responsibility that in those moments, we know how to let the horse know that it's going to be ok; how to calm him down and to offer him a connection with a calming energy.
Secondly, I have seen calm and confident horses change into fire-spitting dragons when they are sold to someone else. Again, it is the human's responsibility to understand that the horse is going through a huge amount of change when being moved to a new field/ yard and herd environment - horses can be pretty scary when they're not confident, so if you've just bought yourself a confidence giver and he's just not standing still for the mounting block; bracing up, not listening to cues, being herd bound etc etc., are you able to give that horse the confidence back that it needs? Are you able to step up and be there for him? Or are you going to think that the horse must have been drugged when you went to view him?
Please do not look to the horse to give you confidence. We all know that horses pick up on fear. As soon as you're approaching them, every vibration that your body and feet make, will be felt. If you're projecting fear and dread, you will be scaring the horse. No matter how calm and confident he might have seemed to be at his old home and with his previous owner...horses are designed to pick up on danger and when you're scared, the horse picks up on this and thinks that it's in danger. It's a simple description and common knowledge, but sadly still very much overlooked.
If you are scared and nervous, which is totally understandable, please work on that first, before buying your next horse. There are amazing mindset coaches out there that can build confidence and self-belief. Then, make sure that you learn how to recognise when your horse is scared and how to help him out...this way, when you grow your skills, you will grow your and your horse's confidence too :).
You will help yourself and with that, any horse you will be working with in the future.
🙏❤🙏