07/11/2026
🐾 YOUR DOG IS PICKING UP MORE THAN YOU THINK.
Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling relaxed, your dog seems to settle more easily too? Or that after a stressful day, your dog appears a little more unsettled, watchful or clingy?
We tend to think of communication with our dogs in terms of what we say, the signals we give and the things we teach them.
But there's another conversation going on all the time, and much of it happens without either of us consciously realising it.
Our dogs are constantly picking up information from us. They notice changes in our body language, our voice, our behaviour and even our scent. And those changes can influence how they feel and respond to the world around them.
Emotions can be contagious, and that doesn't just happen between people.
But there's more to this than simply catching each other's moods. The way we respond to our dogs can also influence what they learn, the associations they develop and how they behave in similar situations in the future.
So let's look at what's happening, why it matters and perhaps challenge a familiar piece of advice along the way.
First, there's what we can see and hear.
Dogs are remarkably good at picking up changes in our body language, facial expression, posture, movement and voice. They notice the little things we might not even realise we're doing.
When we're relaxed, our movements and voice tend to be different from when we're anxious, frustrated or stressed. We might become tense, move differently, speak more sharply or become less predictable.
Our dogs are constantly taking in this information. They don't need to understand the reason for the change to recognise that something is different.
Then there's what they can smell.
This is particularly interesting because our emotional state can change our body chemistry. When we're stressed, our bodies produce different chemical signals, some of which are released in our sweat and breath.
Dogs have an extraordinary sense of smell, and research at the University of Bristol has demonstrated that dogs can detect and respond to the smell of human stress.
In fact, in one study, dogs exposed to the smell of stressed people were more cautious when faced with an uncertain situation. The smell alone was enough to influence how they approached something they weren't sure about.
So it's not just what we say or how we behave. There's information being carried in the air that we're probably completely unaware of.
But detecting our emotions is only part of the story. What happens next is just as important.
When a dog picks up on these changes, it can influence its own emotional and physical state. Its nervous system may become more alert, its behaviour may change and it may become more cautious or unsettled.
This is what we mean by emotional contagion. It's not that the dog necessarily understands why we're feeling a particular way, but that our emotional state can influence its own.
And this isn't necessarily a one-way street.
If your dog is unsettled, you may become more watchful. You might tighten the lead, change your posture, become more hesitant or start anticipating a problem. Your dog picks up on those changes too.
Before long, the two of you can be influencing each other in a continuous feedback loop.
You notice your dog's tension, you become tense yourself, your dog responds to that tension and the cycle continues.
There's also an interesting longer-term element. Research has found associations between the stress levels of dogs and their owners over time. This suggests that the influence of living together can extend beyond individual moments.
So what about comforting a frightened dog?
We've probably all heard the familiar statement that "you can't reinforce an emotion", followed by the reassurance that there's absolutely no problem consoling or coddling a frightened dog.
There's some truth in the first part, but the conclusion is rather more complicated.
Fear itself isn't something a dog deliberately does in order to get a particular outcome. In training terms, we call that an operant behaviour — a behaviour that's influenced by what happens afterwards. In simple terms, a dog does something, experiences the consequence, and that consequence can make the behaviour more or less likely to happen again.
You can't simply reward a dog for feeling frightened and expect it to choose to feel frightened more often.
But that is only one part of the picture, and it overlooks something very important: classical conditioning.
While operant learning is concerned with the consequences of behaviour, classical conditioning is about associations. It's how a dog learns that one thing predicts or is connected with another, and how those associations can influence its emotional response.
This is particularly relevant when we're talking about fear.
If a dog is frightened and we respond with tension, anxious handling, excessive fussing or heightened emotional intensity, those things can become part of the dog's experience of that situation. They may become associated with the people, places, sounds, dogs or circumstances involved.
The dog isn't necessarily learning that being frightened gets it a reward. It may be learning that the situation, and everything surrounding it, is something to feel increasingly concerned about.
And this is why the familiar statement that "you can't reinforce fear" is only part of the answer. It tells us something about operant learning, but it doesn't address the potential influence of classical conditioning.
We may not be reinforcing the emotion itself, but we can seriously still be influencing the emotional associations that shape how the dog feels the next time around.
If a dog is frightened and we calmly offer reassurance, comfort and a little support, we're not automatically making that fear stronger. In fact, a reassuring presence can help a dog feel safer.
The important distinction is that comfort isn't inherently a problem. What matters is what we're communicating, what the dog is experiencing and what associations may be developing as a result.
And there's another very important piece of the puzzle that is often overlooked.
Although current science tells us that we can't directly reinforce an emotion, we can most certainly reinforce the behaviour being displayed while that emotion is being experienced.
Think about a frightened dog that barks and lunges at another dog. If that behaviour repeatedly results in the other dog moving away, the consequence may reinforce the barking and lunging. And the behaviour often becomes more likely to occur again, even though the original fear remains.
That doesn't mean the dog wasn't frightened in the first place. It doesn't mean the fear is an act, or that the dog is deliberately manipulating its owner.
It simply means that emotional responses and learned behaviours can exist alongside each other.
We can have a genuinely frightened dog whose behaviour is also being reinforced by the consequences that follow.
And that's why simply saying "you can't reinforce fear" doesn't tell us enough about what's actually happening.
So where does the owner fit into all this?
This is something I pay particular attention to in my work as a behavioural trainer and relationship coach.
I often see anxious dogs with owners who are themselves anxious, and reactive dogs whose owners have become increasingly reactive to the situations they encounter.
I'm not suggesting that every anxious dog has an anxious owner, or that owners are necessarily the cause of their dog's difficulties. There are many reasons why dogs develop behavioural problems.
But the relationship between the two can be significant.
An owner who is constantly anticipating trouble may unintentionally communicate that expectation through their body language, lead handling, voice and general behaviour. They may become tense and nervous before anything has even happened.
The empathetic dog, already sensitive to its surroundings, picks up on those changes. Its own response can then confirm the owner's expectation, creating a cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to break.
This is one reason why I sometimes advise clients and students not to coddle or fuss over their dogs in particular situations.
That advice isn't about not caring, withholding affection, ignoring genuine distress or believing that comforting a dog is inherently wrong.
It's about recognising when our attempts to reassure may actually be adding to the dog's emotional intensity, reinforcing an accompanying behaviour or contributing to an unwanted association.
Sometimes the most helpful thing we can offer is a calm, reassuring presence, clear guidance, appropriate space and the confidence to help the dog move on.
Knowing when to comfort, when to give space and when to intervene requires us to understand what's actually happening, rather than automatically applying the same response to every situation.
And this brings me to a much bigger point.
We can take an individual training principle, understand it perfectly well and still reach the wrong conclusion if we fail to consider the bigger picture.
Emotions, associations, learned behaviours and social interaction are all happening together. Our responses can influence one without necessarily influencing another in the same way.
So, while it may be perfectly true that we can't directly reinforce an emotion, that statement alone doesn't tell us whether our response is helpful, unhelpful or potentially contributing to a behaviour becoming more established.
This is where I think some of the advice readily available online becomes a problem.
A simple statement, repeated often enough, can start to sound like a complete explanation. It may be based on a perfectly valid training principle, but that doesn't mean it accounts for everything happening in a real-life situation.
And when owners are given simplified answers to complicated behavioural questions, they can end up following advice that contradicts what their dog actually needs.
At R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Dog Training & Instruction, I take a broader view.
I'm interested in the dog, the owner, their individual circumstances and, importantly, the relationship between them.
I don't believe in taking one training principle and allowing it to dictate every decision. Nor do I believe that being compassionate means avoiding difficult questions or overlooking the consequences of our own actions.
We need to understand the principles, but we also need the knowledge and judgement to apply them appropriately.
Remember, our emotional state can become part of our dog's environment.
We may not always be able to control how we feel, but we can become more aware of what we're communicating and how our behaviour might be influencing the dog beside us.
Sometimes the most useful thing we can do is take a step back, take a breath and look again.
Because understanding our dogs starts with being prepared to observe, rather than simply assume.
It Pays to Pay Attention.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Dog Training & Instruction
