09/05/2026
So here’s today’s drama… ☀️
This idiot (whom I love deeply) is OBSESSED with sun baking.
Not in a cute “awww look at him enjoying the sunshine” way… more in a “sir, you are moments away from becoming a roast chicken” kind of way. 🥵🍗
Honestly, he has zero self-preservation instincts.
You’d think dogs would know when they’re too hot.
Nope. Not this one.
So he asked to go out for a wee wee.
“Fine,” I say. “Quick toilet trip and straight back in.”
Big Mistake!
After his wee, instead of coming back inside like a normal citizen, he disappears into the deepest part of the garden and hides in the undergrowth like a tiny furry fugitive. 🌿👀
I think, okay mate… but I’m watching you.
Within TWO MINUTES he slithers out of the bushes like David Attenborough should be narrating it…
“And here we see the Golden Retriever emerging from his habitat in search of the perfect sunbeam…” ☀️
He then lowers himself dramatically into prime sun-baking position.
When I finally make him get up, he rolls onto his back and pretends his legs no longer work.
Then comes the new outdoor pet gate — specifically installed to keep him on the shady side of the cottage.
Apparently it is now a portal to hell. 🚪🔥
Will not go through it.
Not for love.
Not for loyalty.
Not for reason.
But… for one boiled egg? 🥚
Suddenly the terrifying gate is perfectly safe.
This is my life now.
I live with a very large, very hairy toddler. 🫠
