25/08/2026
Adopt, don't shop 🐢
Please rehome. All information is available on tortoiseclub.org
MANUEL’S GUIDE TO HUMANS
DON’T SHOP. ADOPT A TORTOISE.
Humans, we need to discuss babies.
Tortoise babies, obviously.
You see one in a pet shop.
Tiny shell. Tiny feet. Tiny face.
“Ohhhhh, look how CUTE he is.”
Yes. We know.
We were all babies once.
Get a grip.
Because while you’re standing there cooing over something the size of a digestive biscuit, there are grown-up tortoises all over the country waiting to be adopted.
And some of them really need a good human.
Now, before the breeders and pet shops start throwing plantain at me…
I’m not saying they’re all bad.
There are some excellent breeders in this country who genuinely know their tortoises.
But if you buy one of my cousins, do your homework.
Where did they come from? How have they been kept? What have they been eating? Have they had proper UVB? Have they been outside?
Because sadly, we see far too many young tortoises arrive with problems, and their new humans know absolutely nothing about what happened to them before they came home.
So perhaps, before you buy…
Consider adoption.
You could give a tortoise that needs a home a wonderful life.
Which brings me to my mate…
GEORGE.
George is a fellow guest at the Tortoise Hotel. His family are emigrating and sadly cannot take him with them.
He’s a Horsfield.
He’s full of character, extremely inquisitive and, being a Horsfield, probably considers any form of boundary a personal challenge.
So George needs the right human.
Outdoor space comes first.
A proper, secure garden enclosure where he can live naturally, dig, explore, bask and generally interfere with things that don’t concern him.
He’ll also need a suitable indoor home for the times he genuinely needs to be inside. (Or outdoor climate controlled enclosure)
And if you live in a flat?
The answer is simply no.
Sorry.
Actually, I’m not sorry.
This is my friend.
And, naturally, I’m in charge of the adoption.
I’ll expect photographs.
I’ll want to see his proposed accommodation.
There may be an inspection.
There will be yearly check-ups.
I may require architectural drawings and a small scale model.
I haven’t decided yet.
But George won’t simply disappear off into the sunset and be forgotten.
Any tortoise adopted through us comes with lifetime support and care.
You’ll have direct contact with my human whenever you need advice or support, for the rest of George’s life.
Free of charge.
Because once you’re one of ours, you’re one of ours. 💚
And just think what you could give a tortoise like George.
A home. A garden. Proper care. Security. And someone who genuinely wants to give him the best life possible.
There is something rather wonderful about knowing that you’ve helped one little animal in this enormous world.
And in return, you get George.
A small, four-toed bulldozer with his own opinions.
Could you be the right human for my friend?
Applications to my human.
Final approval by Manuel.
Obviously.
Love Manuel x
