25/11/2020
Please stop slinging unsolicited ‘advice’ and comments at reactive dog owners. It really isn’t useful.
Firstly you get the people who can’t comprehend that what you do- muzzling, management, long lines, walking at strategic times to avoid others- is to protect your dog, their dogs, their children and themselves.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the following:
“Muzzles are cruel”
“I’m good with dogs so I won’t get bitten”
“Try actually training your dog instead of just waking away”
“Your dog is never going to learn if you always avoid people/ dogs”
“Picking him up will make him worse, let them sort it out between themselves”
“Give it some freedom and let it off the lead”
Honestly, these comments are mainly from middle aged plus men who often own gundogs and call themselves trainers because they’ve owned dogs for 40 years. Sounds very specific, but I’m sure reactive dog owners know this exact type of person I’m talking about. The ones that try to bully you into putting your dog into a situation where they are going to be so afraid that they display learned helplessness, at which point the other person will put his hands to his hips and say “I told you!”
Funnily enough (and this may be because my own reactive dog is relatively small) most of the people who have the “dogs will be dogs” mindset have dogs who are far bigger and stronger than mine, or a group of dogs, so if a fight did break out, it would be my dog who would come off worse.
I suppose if you have very little concern for dogs’ emotional well-being, this method of training can look very effective. It’s called flooding, very aptly named, considering if it goes wrong, and it often goes wrong, the dog can sink and drown.
The other day I was walking a dog in a quiet place with a long line on. I considered not muzzling him, but decided not to take any risks as he hadn’t been there before. I’m so glad I muzzled him as he spotted a dog in the distance, pulled the line out of my hands and tried to pin it down. Thankfully the owner was lovely and I managed to grab the line and move him away. The muzzle prevented anything awful happening, but I was sincerely apologetic. I posted a photo of the dog online in the evening and I got an unsolicited comment saying “poor dog,” referring to the muzzle. I’m sure if the commenter’s dog was the one he spotted when the long line management failed, she would have been exceptionally grateful for that muzzle the “poor dog” was wearing.
Then there’s the flip-side. The “it’s okay, my dog is friendly,” bunch. The ones who see your dog is on a lead and you backing away and jumping in the bushes, but keep brazenly striding towards you. Then, when your dog is backed into a corner by the so-called friendly dog, and reacts in the way you desperately warned the owner it would, you get the torrent of insults and abuse hurled at you:
“Your aggressive dog shouldn’t be allowed in public”
“Your dog should be put down”
“My dog was just being friendly, yours is vicious”
“That dog should wear a muzzle at all times”
“What if it’s a child next time?”
It’s incredibly unfair that people can put you and your dog in a situation where your dog feels like they have no option but to react, through sheer ignorance, and yet your dog who was probably happy minding their own business and keeping to themselves is the ‘bad’ one, just because they had the first growl. Even though if the owner only had control of their dog, there wouldn’t have been any issue at all.
Oddly, I’ve seen a combination of person one and person two, too. The people who complain online that muzzles are cruel, then share stories about how their poor dog was attacked after running up to say hello to an on-lead dog, brandishing the dog as ‘vicious’ and saying how it should have been wearing a muzzle. Again, sound specific? I’ve witnessed this hypocrisy so many times.
I was walking my reactive dog, Tulip, and a lady walked past with a ball launcher. She saw me move away, and deliberately launched the ball at us so her dog was running towards Tulip over and over again. When she eventually, and understandably, reacted, the woman tutted loudly and made an inaudible comment about “vicious small dogs”. She had the entire field to throw that ball, and yet she cultured a situation she knew would distress my dog, just to get in a dig.
Then there’s the stuff that really cuts deep. The things that friends, family and strangers alike can say when they hear you have a reactive dog:
“I thought you were supposed to be good at dog training?”
“You can’t be much of a dog trainer if your own dogs aren’t well trained”
“No dog is born aggressive”
“There are no bad dogs, only bad owners”
“Your dog must have been abused to become that aggressive”
These ones probably hurt the most, and show a deep misunderstanding of behaviour. My dogs are impeccably trained, but basic obedience and anxiety are totally different things.
As a society we have this belief that dogs are pure, celestial, perfect beings. As incredible as they are, they are not angels. They are carnivores with complex minds and needs that we expect to live in close proximity to strangers, other dogs, infants, being seen but not heard. Any dog has the propensity to be reactive, but some dogs are genetically predisposed to be more reactive than others. Some dogs have had bad experiences. Some are in pain which triggers reactivity. Whatever causes a dog’s reactivity, it isn’t always the owners to blame. You did not teach your dog to be aggressive, even if Steve on Facebook insists that you did.
People who have reactive dogs go through a lot. It’s very stressful and emotionally draining, and we really do not need unsolicited advice and critiques being drip-fed into our brains constantly. Even if it is with the best intentions, if I’m out walking my dog and trying to enjoy myself, I really don’t need it. If reactive owners want help, we will ask for it.
But what I will request is that other owners are patient with us and our dogs, that they keep out of our way if we are trying to create space, that they will recognize our on-lead dog doesn’t want to be harassed by their friendly one, and that reactivity is a little more complicated than just bad ownership.
Unless somebody is a qualified behaviourist or has experienced exactly what we are going through as reactive dog owners, it isn’t helpful.
