06/05/2026
More and more people are deciding that they donāt want a funeral at all, and - for some - that can absolutely be the right decision.
Itās not always that simple though. So, what do people really mean when they say that?
āI donāt want a fussā
So often we have in our heads a picture of what a funeral should be like - because thatās how things have always been done. But a funeral can be whatever you need it to be and some of the most beautiful, meaningful and moving funerals Iāve been involved in have been the simplest - and the smallest.
āI donāt want to burden my familyā
Again, completely understandable. Planning a funeral when youāre in the early stages of grieving can be so tough. All of a sudden youāre being asked to make decisions that you have no idea how to make. Thatās exactly why writing down your funeral wishes is so important. It takes away a lot of that stress, and can be a gift to the people you love. Let them know what you want.
āI donāt want a traditional ceremonyā
Thereās absolutely no right or wrong way to arrange a funeral. No rules. Nothing that you have to do, or that youāre ānot allowedā to do. You can make it entirely personal to you, and include your own traditions - ones that hold meaning for you.
āItās too expensiveā
Funeral costs are rising, thereās no denying it. Cost is probably the biggest reason why so many more people are opting for direct cremations. But there are also ways to create a farewell thatās equally meaningful, just without all the expense. A simple gathering, in an informal or home setting, can be just as - if not more - beautiful. You donāt need all the bells and whistles. Just the love.
āItās morbid and depressingā
It doesnāt have to be! Funerals can be all about joy and colour and love. They can be uplifting, not a sad, sombre, mournful occasion. And they donāt have to be all about just sitting and listening. They can also be about joining in and taking part, for example by decorating the ceremony space or coffin.
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Iām Alex, a Cambridge based creative death worker and funeral celebrant, and I help people explore what kind of farewell works for them. Follow along for more ideas and inspiration š§”š