29/05/2026
I totally get this because I have andog who does the same and people pretty much do not understand or think I'm totally off my rocker π€·ββοΈ
"But she wants a fuss!"
Winnie π₯° I visited this absolutely lovely, clever girl last week
When Winnie sees someone, she'll pull, wanting to rush up to them, wriggle, roll onto her back, seek contact and generally throw herself into what looks like an absolute *explosion* of friendliness
But our session was really interesting. Winnie needs space!
Heard of the FIGHT-FLIGHT-FOOL AROUND-FREEZE response?
βFool aroundβ can be split into two types: displacement and appeasement (often referred to as fawning)
Displacement behaviours are more about self-regulation or switching off a bit to feel better, like suddenly looking away, having a scratch, sniffing the ground, or eating grass
Appeasement is more socially directed. Itβs where the dog is trying to manage social pressure or uncertainty, and it can look very βfriendlyβ from the outside. Things like jumping up, licking, rolling over, wriggling around, and seeking contact
This is where it gets confusing for people, because it looks like an invitation for interaction. But actually it can be a dog trying to reduce social pressure. They don't choose the way their nervous system responds. If we react by giving more fuss and attention attention, we can end up pushing them further into a disregulated state, and this makes them very difficult to handle in real-life situations such as simply walking down the street
When I arrived and ignored Winnie she actually settled very quickly, and stayed in her βthinking brainβ. If Iβd gone in and fussed her, she would have become much more intense, struggled to disengage, and found it harder to regulate or learn anything
She didnβt need my fuss, and she didnβt ask for it when I stayed neutral and simply offered her access to my hand. She actually showed me no signals that she wanted me to fuss her. What a relief it must have felt to her!
Itβs possible to be friendly but also uncertain about interaction. I treat this behaviour the same as I would if a dog backed away from me
A big part of our session was helping Winnie build skills that let her stay more regulated around people. It takes a village though, as it requires people to give her the space she needs, and not everyone will listen because they are "such a dog person" and "she just wants a tummy tickle".
Such a difficult situation to navigate!
When Winnie's emotions are regulated she shows how intelligent she is, and she can learn very well. We worked on her loose lead walking and she was amazing. Sheβs big and strong, but she *does* understand the task and can do it very well. She just canβt do it when she sees a person or dog due to her intense arousal and appeasement.
There are people that would have used "corrections" with Winnie. On social media I worryingly see this type of behaviour being labelled as naughty, and the dog needing firmer training methods. But when you look at the root cause; a dog that is overwhelmed, how does that actually help in the long run? It just adds discomfort or pressure on top of an already stressed system and this kind of behaviour may be pushed under the surface but over time the behaviour intensifies or worse.....the dog may use a different kind of stress response in future
Winnie did brilliantly, and has humans who are doing everything right to help her regulate herself, avoid situations she canβt cope with, and learn the skills needed to make walks nice and pleasant for everyone involved β€οΈ
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