24/08/2025
An excellent post by the brilliant Jane Jane Ardern 👏
Your dog might not like physical praise !
We humans have a natural tendency to want to stroke, cuddle, and hug our dogs. It feels good to us… but did you know not all dogs enjoy physical contact? For some, it can even feel aversive.
Dogs are always having conversations with us through their body language and behaviour. The problem is we don’t always listen because we don't 'see' what they're saying. When those conversations go unheard, dogs often end up stressed, showing displacement behaviours like:
👉 Mouthing
👉 Over-arousal
👉 Hu***ng
👉 Silly “zoomy” behaviour
These are not “naughty” dogs. These are dogs working hard to cope with something they find difficult, and sometimes the only option left is to bite.
💡 My work with these dogs is about listening first. We find their baseline: what they like, what they tolerate, and what they really don’t. From there, we can build two-way conversations and where it’s needed begin counterconditioning so grooming, vet checks, or daily handling become safe and comfortable.
✨ But equally important we respect who they are as sentient beings, and we don’t force unnecessary touch just because we want it.
From a social point of view, dogs can value two very different things:
1️⃣ Being close to you, hanging out, even leaning against you, wanting to lay next to you on the sofa.
2️⃣ Physical contact, touch, stroking from you
The dogs who love 1️⃣ but not 2️⃣ are the ones who often get misunderstood. They want to be with you but not necessarily be touched by you. And that’s okay.
Some dogs even change their minds mid-fuss thinking they want it until they don’t. That’s okay too.
I get it, because I’m the same I like people, but I don’t like hugs.
Here’s Huey 🤎 we’ve done lots of work so he can cope with handling and grooming. He can even enjoy a fuss now. The key was that he felt understood and listened to. Having a voice that is heard is empowering.
When people meet Huey I tell them, he might look like he wants you to fuss him, but he doesn't. I know the people that meet him might not speak his language so I speak for him. That's my role as his guardian.
