03/06/2026
☔🐾 A Day in the Life: Wet, Wild & Questionable Decisions ☔🐾
Pees: 256
Poos: 352
Bushes sniffed: STOP SNIFFING THE BLOODY BUSHES AND WALK ALREADY 😂
Today's shift began with an unexpected appearance from The Golden Girls: Fast & Furious Edition.
Three OAP wifees somehow managed to miss their turning, panic, and attempt to reverse off a roundabout on a dual carriageway. As we politely suggested they move before causing a nationwide incident, they simply smiled and waved at us like they were parked outside Mecca Bingo waiting for the doors to open. The blue rinse brigade strikes again!
The dogs, naturally thought this was perfectly normal human behaviour, I'm sure they just heard me shouting and were like. Uh, here she goes again, who's fault is it this time we're not getting treats.
Little L Dog, who we thought wanted to head home early yesterday, turns out to have been worrying about F Dog all along. (The young ones looking out for the old ones) She's an absolute sweetheart, apart from her ongoing mission to roll in anything disgusting enough to disguise the fact she's actually lovely. Apparently she believes if she smells like death, the local wildlife might finally stop laughing at her hunting abilities.
Meanwhile, J Dog woke up and chose romance.
Unfortunately for him, every dog was apparently the love of his life today. Also devastatingly for him, we walk a collection of absolute nutters and only a handful would tolerate such advances. The rest responded with horrified screaming, offended expressions, and the sort of rejection usually reserved for Love Island. By lunchtime he had learned that getting his leg over was, in fact, not on today's agenda.
Big M Dog was dishing out industrial strength bosies all day. He's basically a furry wrecking ball of affection. The dog doesn't cuddle you; he slowly leans his entire body weight into you until your knees start negotiating with gravity. Impossible not to love him!
P Dog spent the day sniffing absolutely everything. Leaves? Sniff. Grass? Sniff. A suspiciously uninteresting patch of mud? SNIFFFFFFF, AAAAHHHH! Better spend ten minutes investigating. Every request to move along was treated as a mere suggestion. We suspect she heard about yesterday's ear drawing scandal and thought, aye, why nae, let's make all the bad decisions. Screw the rules humans!
The biggest victory of the day?
No dead things.
There probably were some. There always are. But thankfully none of the furry detectives uncovered them, and for that we are eternally grateful.
Miraculously, we also escaped injury free. No falls, no near death experiences, no dogs attempting to launch us into orbit.
The only casualty was the air quality.
M Dog deployed several rounds of chemical warfare throughout the day, although thankfully the windows were open. Whether that saved us or simply spread the attack over a wider area remains unclear.
🐾☔ Until tomorrow's adventures 🐾☔
