16/07/2024
Have you ever gone with a friend to an event where you then felt really uncomfortable?
I have recently done so, and as the event lasted, I wanted to leave more and more. I was aware of the fact, that it meant a lot to my friend to have me there and thought, come on, for a couple of hours I can do that, it´s not a big deal.
And so it was. Not a big deal, my friend is happy. The thing is, next time I will be asked to join in, I will remember, how bad it made me feel last time. I will have some resistance to the idea, of repeating.
I might try again or I might find an excuse, not to go. As my friend is really into this kind of events, she will eventually ask me over and over again to join. Do you think I will at some point become resilient and just go to make her happy? Do you think I might start to enjoy it at some point? Do you think she doesn’t notice, that I am just there to support her? How will she feel, if I find an excuse, each time she asks me to come along? How will I feel, if she keeps asking me for something I dislike? Is that good for our friendship?
Would it not be the best to speak to my friend about it and express my concerns? As a real friend, she would listen to me and we could compromise. I go with her for a while and then we do something else, or she brings another friend… tons of options are available. Also, as very last resource, I could just walk out of the event and go somewhere else.
The point is the communication and the mutual respect. Me voicing my concern, and my friend listening and understanding and then finding a better option for both of us.
Now how often do we take our dogs to places or events where they are uncomfortable? The common approach is, that they will get used to it, not a big deal.
Some dogs do get used to it, or just tolerate it, which does not mean, that they enjoy it.
Some dogs communicate their concerns and if they feel unheard and they get louder and bolder, they might even get the reactivity label from their desperate intent to communicate. Even if they wanted to, they could not just leave and go somewhere else.
We refer to dogs as our best friends. Would you ignore your best human friend that way? Would you risk the quality of your friendship?
Just because we do not speak the same language, it does not mean, we can’t communicate with our dogs.
If you would like to build a foundation of trust and mutual respect = REAL FRIENDSHIP with your dog, I am happy to help www.kaylasway.com