20/05/2026
What Dr. Shelley says!!
Your Horse Is Not Saying “No”🔥
*(and reducing behaviour to that probably isn’t helping either)*
I promised my community I would revisit this topic because honestly, I think this idea is doing people’s heads in.
Not just in horses.
Everywhere.
We are living in an information-soaked AI world drowning in conflicting ideas, ideologies, quotes, reels, memes, gurus, and emotionally satisfying over-simplifications.
Horse people are not immune to this.
One of the most popular examples at the moment is the framing of horse behaviour as the horse “saying no.”😑
And while it sounds deep and respectful, I actually think it moves people further away from understanding behaviour.
Because “no” in human language means conscious refusal.
But behaviour is far more complex than that.
When a horse does not do what you expected, there are many possible things sitting underneath the behaviour including:
- they may not understand the request
- you may be communicating unclearly
- they may feel blocked, alarmed, or overwhelmed
- the environment may feel threatening
- they may feel physically uncomfortable or unbalanced
- frustration or confusion may now be driving resistance
- they may simply be trying another behaviour that has worked before
None of these things are “no.”
They are information.
And this is where I think horsemanship has lost the plot a little.😵💫
Instead of helping people analyse behaviour, understand learning, observe motivation, assess confidence, and think critically… we increasingly hand people emotionally satisfying slogans.
“Let the horse say no to get the yes.”🙄🔥
Cool.
But what does that actually help people understand?
Because the horse is not sitting there engaging in philosophical boundary negotiations with Roberta from Byron Bay.
The horse is behaving according to what they understand, what they feel, what they have learned, what they are anticipating and what currently seems safest, easiest, or most motivating.
That is what behaviour is.
I do not teach people that horses “say no.”
In fact, I spend a lot of time working with people and their horse unpicking the disaster this framing has caused‼️
Instead, I teach people to ask:
1) What does the horse understand? (And START here)
2) How motivated are they? (And WHY)
3) How confident do they feel? (And WHY)
Because those questions actually help people make good decisions.🤓
Maybe one of the most important life skills is learning how to think for yourself.
To rise above the noise, the manipulation, the outrage, and the seductive simplicity of people selling certainty.
Because horses, humans, and life in general are all far more layered than memes make them look.
Collectable Advice 220/365. If this made sense to you consider hitting SHARE or SAVE. ❤
Please no copy and pasting 🙏
IMAGE📸: Image by Wywurrie Equine Services.
