10/21/2026
Things I learned while healing my burnout and chronic health problems, and how my brain connects these lessons to our relationships with our horses.
1) Learning that there are many kinds of rest beyond just doing nothing. Sometimes rest means laying on the couch and reading a book. Sometimes it means going for a walk, or making art, or taking a class unrelated to my work, or having lunch with a friend. All kinds of rest are needed to truly rejuvenate our whole being. I think about this when I see horses on stall or paddock rest who are not being offered other types of enrichment while they rest their injury.
2) Learning that I cannot be everything for everyone. I cannot be the one holding space for so many horses per week, and their humans, and an online following, my friends, my family, my pets, and myself. However, I can be involved in all of those things, without being the glue holding it together. I can be a part of a wider support system. Everyone has to be responsible for their own health, and the health of their own animals. I can be a pillar without being the entire scaffolding. I'm valuable simply as myself - my value isn't based on what I can offer others. We need to see our horses in the same light. They don't owe us their magic.
3) Learning that "capability" and "capacity" are two different things. Just because I can get away with pushing through pain or burnout for a while doesn't mean that my body or my nervous system actually have the capacity to do so, and I will eventually suffer the consequences. I think we confuse our horses' capability and their capacity all the time - especially when a professional tells us something misleading, like that pain has been "ruled out" (spoiler alert, that is actually impossible).
4) Learning that saying no can truly be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, and it's safe to do so. It's been proven to me over and over again that when a door closes, another opens - or maybe more than one! For example, it's very difficult and scary to move on from a client when you are self-employed. But every time I have parted ways with a client because we were not aligned, that space has been filled with a client(s) who is so much MORE aligned than I could have ever hoped. And by the way, "alignment" doesn't mean we agree on everything, nor does "misalignment" mean we don't get along! There are many possible reasons for these misalignments, and it can even be as simple as a scheduling or financial misalignment.
Our goal with our horses should be creating an environment of consent, where horses feel safe expressing it when they want to say no. What we want is a dialogue with our horses, and censoring their ability to have opinions will never create a true partnership - and may be stifling so many opportunities for relationship.
Thank you Two Strides Forward Equestrian for the photo 🥰