10/14/2025
💯
Borrowed:
No breeder escapes this moment: the phone buzzes a few days after a puppy leaves, with a message you could almost recite by heart:
“We love him, but…”
Ah, the infamous but.
But he barks. But he nips. But he cries at night. But he’s “too energetic.”
In short, he’s alive. And for some, that’s already too much.
A puppy isn’t a living stuffed animal or a personal antidepressant. It’s a baby mammal, uprooted from its maternal world, thrown into the unknown. It will bark, cry, explore, and stress—and that’s normal.
Modern humans, however, don’t like disturbance. They want everything fast: their coffee, their phone, even their puppy’s “adaptation.” They forget a puppy’s brain is still learning emotional regulation through experience, not downloads or miracle TikTok tricks.
So overwhelmed families write: “He’s adorable, but he’s not for us.” Translation: We wanted a dog without the challenges of a puppy.
Even the best-raised puppies are still learning. They arrive ready to learn to love, not pre-programmed to love. And learning requires time, consistency, and emotional steadiness—qualities many humans no longer possess.
Some confuse the perfect puppy with the compliant puppy—obedient to their schedule, whims, or noise tolerance. When that fails, blame follows: the breeder, the breed, the dog’s “character.” And suddenly normal puppy behavior becomes a “problem.”
Breeders absorb it all, taking back puppies “returned due to lifestyle incompatibility,” re-socializing them, and repairing broken bonds. They brush trembling little muzzles and remind themselves: humans think they can adopt without adapting.
Living with a puppy is chaos before harmony. It’s the noise, the smells, the nips, the accidents, the doubts. It’s biology, not magic.
A puppy isn’t a test, a trial, or a gift. It’s a living commitment. What it becomes depends on you: balanced if you are, anxious if you are.
And if you’re not ready to give up your slippers and certainties for a few months? Adopt a plant instead. It rarely chews your shoes, and it doesn’t cry at night.
— Eva VanLoo
