04/03/2025
Such a strong message. There are a lot of things we “should” do, but we are a small rescue run by 2 (yes…there is only 2 of us) with no funding. The other bigger rescues have many more years under there belt, much more experience, and way more donations coming in. So doing things the way they do things, isn’t feasible for us. Is it the correct way? Maybe for them. The health of our kitties is our number one priority, we do this for the kitties, not for the spotlight, or praise. I’ve been judged more these last couple years for decisions I’ve made then I have ever had to deal with any other time of my life. Rescue is hard, why do we as humans have to make things harder?
Don't "Should" on Your Fellow Rescuers
You have probably seen this advice. "Don't Should on Yourself". But what about your fellow rescuers? Judgement and backbiting is common in the rescue community and it is easy to see why. People who love animals are passionate in their beliefs. Those strong feelings help the animals, but often alienate the rescuers who share their passions. Do you know someone who left rescue? Ask them why, and there is a good chance that they left because of the judgment and unrealistic expectations of their fellow rescuers. Judgment cuts deep when the rescue community is your social group.
I was thinking about this recently while helping someone with a community cat. The cat had significant dental issues and the spay/neuter clinic's recommendation was to follow up with dental extractions. Another rescuer called her and said, "You should take that cat in for a dental. She has to have that done!"
Of course we want the best for all cats. That cat did need a dental. But should we expect our fellow rescuers to foot the bill? When you "should" on someone else, there may be some unintended consequences.
For some, it is financial. Is it fair to ask someone to charge $800 on their credit card for vet services they can't afford? How many other cats could be helped with $800? For others it is the judgement that you "should" be doing more. Or you "should" be doing something the same way they do it. The list of "shoulds" are endless when you care for animals.
Supporting your fellow rescuers is important because if you "should" on them too much, they may leave rescue. It isn't always easy if your styles differ, but remember, you can't know what is going on in the lives of your fellow rescues. You don't know the financial fallout that your "shoulds" might create. Or how those extra fosters might affect their family life. Or how the judgment might affect their mental health.
We encourage all of you out there to first refrain from "shoulding" on yourself. Sit down with your friends and family and determine your limits. We are all limited by time, family and financial resources. Know yours so nobody can "should" on you. And respect the rescue limits of other by keeping your "shoulds" to yourself. Being kind helps rescuers and that helps the cats!