04/15/2021
I have been trying to stay in seclusion and keep my personal life off this page
Bahhhhh .... secrets ... hate em
Juice, aka BeetleJuice, his real name is actually Zeus
had a history of seizures in his youth ...
he enjoyed several years seizure free and lived a great life as my #1 lead dog, crazy as hell, loving, and powerful
Our seizure-free party is now over and we are being hit with a vengeance ...
we have been struggling for weeks to get his seizures under control, we are doing the meds, we are following the dosages, we set alarm clocks to make sure the loading doses were every six hours ... not five, not seven ... SIX ...
we are under excellent veterinary care
I can’t cry in front of him, I just suck it up and carry on as normal telling him how handsome he is and he is still my number one, top notch lead dog.
But my heart is dying inside
I pretend all is normal, chattering away to him as he is moved from place to place depending on how his body is and how much he collapses and faceplants that particular day and the respective dangers of each yard ... always looking for the safest place,
sometimes he needs help to p**p, and sometimes I express his bladder
Sometimes the dish is held close to his face to eat and drink, sometimes he can manage to find himself into a big bucket fastened to a fence, using his own balance and sketchy muscle control to find the food and enjoy a softened meal like the true lead dog that he is
For a while he was pulled from the crate like a calf pulled from its mother ... and now sometimes he’s sitting there, upright, and waiting, and sometimes not
he sometimes marches so fast on our walks I think I need a bicycle to keep up ... the next day he hits the dirt and is like lifting and moving a 50 lb sack of furry love.
He is incoherent sometimes, and others his eyes squint in a smile and his ears press back just enough that I know he recognizes me and is genuinely in the moment ...
then he disappears again as the meds take effect
Juicy-Fruit
Joooooose
I do love you so my Jooooosy-Froooot
We need you all and we need your strength, support, healing power and prayer
Love to All 💗💗💗💗