04/07/2026
have a few dogs in mind that definitely approved this message 👀🐶
🐾📣 HI. IT’S ME. YOUR DOG. 📣🐾
I’ve been trying to tell you…
politely… respectfully…
👉 I AM FLUFFY… BUT NOT IN A CUTE WAY ANYMORE
I am:
❌ shedding everywhere
❌ kinda crusty (sorry not sorry)
❌ one roll in the yard away from smelling
…and yet…
YOU haven’t called my favourite person other than you!
So I took matters into my own paws 🐾
🚨 BOOK ME A GROOMING APPOINTMENT 🚨
Here’s what she (my fav groomer✂️💜) has left in April:
April 8 – 9:00am, 2:30pm
April 9 – 11:30am, 1:30pm
April 13 – 9:00am, 11:00am
April 14 – 8:00am, 3:00pm(small bath/brush)
April 16 – 10:30am
April 17 – 11:00am, 1:00pm, 3:00pm
April 20 – 9:00am, 11:00am
April 21 – 9:00am, 11:00am, 1:00pm, 3:00pm
April 27 – 9:00am, 11:00am, 1:00pm, 3:00pm
April 28 – 9:00am, 2:00pm, 4:00pm
April 29 – 9:00am, 11:00am, 1:00pm, 3:00pm
April 30 – 9:00am, 11:00am, 1:00pm
⸻
⚠️ also apparently her life is chaos right now (something about hockey 🏒 and kids 🙄)
so times might move a bit but she’ll tell you… unlike you telling me I’d get brushed “later” 😒
✨ I want to be soft again
✨ I want to smell good again
✨ I want people to say “aww” not “oh…”
📩 MESSAGE HER. BOOK ME. DO BETTER.
Sincerely,
Your dog 🐶💜