Shiloh Hill Farm

05/19/2025

03/11/2025

01/25/2025

❤️

10/14/2023

Great day for a hack.

09/08/2023

02/16/2023

😂😂😂

12/09/2022

Grief….
This painting by the amazing artist MJ’s Equine Art Studios, LLC who had lost her sister…..
This painting sums it up my grief more than I can put Into words…
This hit me like a brick wall when I seen Maggie’s post …. She calls this work of art …..”Holding Space”❤️💔
Head over to her page to order a print of this moving painting ❤️

This is where I was when I got the news that they found my sons , Kyler, body…
I was in my stallions (Shiners Got Swagger) , pen feeding hay…
I dropped in the feeder screaming in pain… and this horse ….. my Angel without wings….sat over me and nussled my hair … not scared of my emotions… and stayed with me till I could catch my breath…
Hard to believe the anniversary date of when Kyler passed is coming up so quickly, December 16th…. Same day my Dad passed away several years before Kyler… brings me a little peace knowing they are together ❤️💔

Sometimes in the quiet of the morning sunrise the reality hits like a brick wall that Kyler is truly gone…
It is easier to stay busy during the day to keep the waves of grief from washing over me…
But occasionally…a walk through the grocery store and seeing his favourite foods…
Or this time of year … seeing his favourite things that I always got him for Christmas presents… he loved new socks… cologne…. fuzzy soft pj pants…Knocks me to my knees and I have had to leave a store as I can’t fight back the tears…..
Time doesn’t heal Grief but I am learning how to carry grief a little more gracefully than I did in the beginning…

But as time goes by…I have also learned to not avoid “grief “ but to sit with it when it visits… embrace it…feel all the feels….allow the waves of tears…just don’t drown in them…and get up a little more gracefully then I did in the beginning and carry on with my day

I always thought grief and happiness were two totally separate emotions and you could only have one or the other
I Am now learning they can go hand in hand….
I am learning grief… and gratitude
can exist simultaneously…
The grief of loosing my son ….and also being grateful that I had him for 25 yrs…as many that have reached out to me have lost their children waaay younger 💔
Hope and heartache can live in the same space…..
The heartache of the reality he is really physically gone ….and then seeing the beautiful signs he gives me makes me feel a small amount of gratitude …
Sorrow and Joy can both be present sometimes both in the same breath….
Grateful for the 25 yrs I got to be his Mom… and grateful for the signs he still sends… just wish for one more hug… one more I love you Mom

For those of you grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season…. I see you… I understand….I hold space for you…be kind to yourself… know that it is ok to not be ok… it’s ok to be sad…. It’s ok to be happy …. Be kind to yourself ❤️
For those of you who haven’t lost a loved one … please be patient with those of us who have… for you it may seem like for ever ago… but for us it is every day….

My wish for all of you is….
Make sure you hug your loved ones a little tighter … a lil longer…
Say the I Love you’s…
Make the phone call..
Don’t take time for granted…
Live your life to the fullest
Be kind…. Always be kind… you have no idea the hell a person might be going through…

This artist captured what I couldn’t put Into words… Maggie you are AMAZING ❤️

09/12/2022