16/09/2025
🐴Online Bullying🐴
Unfortunately this afternoon I've been the victim of yet more anonymous comments in an Agistment group and you know what, I'm tired.
I'm tired of people thinking it's ok to say horrible things about each other simply because you can remain anonymous and that makes you feel brave.
I'm tired of people targeting me, when I no longer provide agistment. It's no longer my property. Let it go already! I have worked in an entirely different industry for 3 years now. Catch up guys!
I'm tired of saying it over and over again- behaviour like this is why people take their own lives. I won't, as I am able to shrug it off as just another comment from an agister that I've had to evict over the years, but you NEVER know what is happening in someone's life. Your nasty comment might just be the one to tip someone over the edge. And then what will you do? Well you be able to live with that for the rest of your life?
I'm tired of having this person claim that I mistreat horses. My horses are all fat, healthy and happy and everyone who knows them knows this. But it's the easiest claim to make in the horse industry isn't it, as it's the claim that can do the most amount of damage with no proof needed. The one occasion where a horse under my charge ended up in poor condition was when I had placed a mare that I had leased into agistment with another well-known provider to foal down, while I was in the UK tending to my terminally ill father. When the time came that she was collected by her owner, she was borderline emaciated. Still, somehow, I have ended up wearing the blame for this, even though she was in someone else's care. As an added note, my foal then came home to me a short time later with a worm burden of over 1600 despite me being charged for worming. But that's a separate story!
The post said that I "know it all". Well, yeah, I do know a lot. I've owned horses for nearly 40 years. I've accumulated a hell of a lot of knowledge in that time. Sometimes I pass on that knowledge to people who are struggling with horse ownership, or to people who ask my opinion. Also, if you're not feeding your horse, guess what- you'd be told to feed it! It's part of being an agistment provider!
The post also said that I'm "insane". That's another really easy one to throw around isn't it. Men use it against women all the time. You say something that someone doesn't like; you're crazy. You disagree with someone's opinion; you're crazy. There's no way to defend yourself against that claim, as how do you disprove it? It's impossible!
The equestrian industry should be all about building each other up, not tearing each other down. We should be each other's cheerleaders, not each other's critics. As women, we have enough to deal with in life. We should not be trying to make things harder for each other! We are all in this industry to enjoy our horses. That is all I'm attempting to do now that I'm not providing agistment anymore.
My suggestion to this person in future is to be brave enough to put your name to your comments. That way we can let everyone know why you are so opinionated about me. And make some factual claims, like "I don't like her because she did x,y and z". Not just she's crazy. Come on. Do better! More than anything I feel quite sorry for you. I've never had the inclination to bully someone, but I imagine it comes from a place of sadness or that something is missing in your life. I hope that you can heal whatever part of you that this is coming from.
For now though, I'll just say, leave me alone. I'm not going to leave the horse industry. I'll be at shows. I'll be at adult riders. You won't scare me off. You won't ruin horses for me. If you see me out and about, feel free to approach me with your grievances so that we can discuss it in person. I'm a grown-up. That's what grown-ups do.
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