30/07/2025
“Good manners aren’t optional. They’re the baseline. They tell you everything you need to know about a man before he opens his mouth.”
When Donald Trump and Melania stepped off the plane in Kerrville, Texas, the sun was high, the wind was still, and the Stetsons started coming off like clockwork. One by one, the Texas officials who walked up to greet them—boots polished, belt buckles gleaming—fully removed their cowboy hats as they approached the First Lady. It wasn’t a performance for the cameras. It was instinct. A muscle memory passed down by generations. Gentlemen take off their hats in a woman’s presence.
There are few gestures left in American life that haven’t been hollowed out by irony or indifference, but a man removing his hat when greeting a woman still holds its own. It’s not for show, and it’s not performative. It’s a signal—one that stretches back across generations, rodeos, and dusty front porches. Somewhere between the brim and the crown lives an entire unspoken code, and in places like Texas, that code is still enforced.
They don’t do it for applause. They don’t need a round of likes. They were taught that when a lady walks up, your headgear comes down. Not because she’s delicate. Not because she’s superior. Because respect demands a posture. Not a thought. Not a feeling. A posture.
That posture begins with the hat.
It’s not always clean. It’s not always pretty. Sometimes it’s sweat-stained, sometimes it’s been stepped on in a cattle chute or left behind in a deer blind. But when it’s in his hand instead of on his head, it means something. It means respect. Not metaphorically. Literally.
Like thank you, please, and you’re welcome—good manners aren’t optional. They’re the baseline. They tell you everything you need to know about a man before he opens his mouth.
It’s a form of punctuation in the grammar of manners. A man without that reflex is either too young to know better or too self-important to care. In Texas, both are cardinal sins. His mother taught him better. She didn’t raise no barn animal.
Taking off your hat doesn’t cost anything, but it signals everything. It says you were raised right. It’s not about power, gender, or outdated roles—it’s about acknowledgment. It’s about placing dignity on the table without needing to say a word.
Texans aren’t the only ones who know what to do with a hat. In Mexico, a man who forgets to take it off in front of a woman is either drunk or doomed. In Spain, even bullfighters remove their montera to show respect. In the South, in church, or at a wake, leaving your hat on is asking for divine punishment. These aren’t just customs. They’re reflexes passed down like heirlooms.
Somewhere along the way, politeness got rebranded as weakness. But men who were raised right know the difference between softness and respect. They know how to open a door without treating a woman like she can’t do it herself. They know how to tip their hat to a stranger just because it’s Tuesday and the sun’s out. That isn’t regression. That’s culture.
It’s also deeply regional. In places like New York or LA, the gesture might get you a cringe. But in South Texas or deep into cowboy country, it earns you trust before you ever speak. It’s the difference between being taken seriously and being written off as just another tourist in boots. Wearing the uniform is easy. Knowing the language is not.
You don’t learn that from a podcast or an etiquette book. This isn’t nostalgia. It’s not about pretending the past was perfect. It’s about preserving the things that were actually good—like a handshake that means something or a greeting that makes someone feel seen.
Some hats are straw, some are felt. Some cost $40, others $1,200. But the man who takes it off to acknowledge the presence of a woman has something more valuable than the brand name on the inside band. Because the real value isn’t stitched into the hat. It’s stitched into the man.
Copyright © 2025 Maria Santos Salinas for FRONTeras.
All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without permission.
