28/08/2026
VALKYRIAN HEIRESSES — FIRST SOLIDS 🥣👑
Three weeks old today, which means the Valkyrian heiresses have officially been introduced to solid food.
They know what it is.
They like it.
They want it.
What they do not want is to be responsible for feeding themselves.
Apparently, putting one’s own face into a bowl is something the plebs do.
The preferred arrangement is for Operations to put her fingers into the bowl and deliver each mouthful directly to the royal mouth. A silver spoon was not available at short notice, and Management will be hearing about this.
Eventually, the heiresses did discover that eating directly from the bowl was possible — although they remain unconvinced that this should become their responsibility.
There is also a very efficient cleanliness policy in place.
Should any food accidentally get onto an heiress, she will happily transfer it onto Operations, the towel, the floor, her sisters and anything else within reach.
The important thing is that the heiress remains clean.
The staff, bowl and surrounding premises may look like a disaster zone, but apparently that’s not Management’s problem.
So, to the families waiting patiently for photos of their children: here they are. 😂
They are three weeks old, thriving, discovering real food and already developing extremely firm opinions about the standard of service they expect.
And to those of you getting one of these heiresses…
I hope you have deep pockets.
Because if this is the level of entitlement at three weeks old, I have some concerns about what happens when they discover your credit card.
First solids: 10/10.
Self-sufficiency: 0/10.
Operations: still unpaid.
And yes, I remain comprehensively screwed by the enterprise agreement. 😂
