25/04/2026
As riders, we often link who we are to how well we ride. That works when we’re in our groove, and things are progressing, but it can feel overwhelming when it’s not. Unbalanced transitions, tension in the horse, confusion, or just one of those days where nothing feels right.
This is where feedback should help. It gives us information to shift and improve, and we invest a lot in getting it from coaches and mentors. But sometimes, instead of landing as useful guidance, it feels personal. It chips away at our confidence. Our self-esteem drops, things start to spiral, and suddenly it’s harder to listen to our horse or to the person trying to help us get better.
So how do we stay in a place where we can actually hear it? Firstly, pause, then take a few slow breaths. Reset by noticing what you’re feeling or the story you’re telling yourself. When I find myself in these situations, I have a couple of favourite stories that I trot out on repeat (naughty brain), the "I'm not good enough" to do bla bla bla, or I will 'never be able to do" bla bla bla, and my overwhelming emotions are often frustration and hopelessness. These emotions and stories can be incredibly believable, so it's important to listen and recognise them for what they are, then let them go. This will help you to shift back to neutral, then listen again to the feedback on your performance. Start to ask clarifying questions. I think I am doing this. What are you seeing that I could be doing better? Start to break it down into small, achievable steps, and look for the 1% improvement. That’s where progress builds.
On your next ride, don’t get lost in the hard moments; use them. Catch the reaction, pause, reset, find neutral, and then choose to listen for what will move you forward.
Hope this is helpful to someone out there- Amber.
