04/05/2025
Not Cold. Not Cruel. Just Boundaried.🤓
By Dr Shelley Appleton — featuring Satire, Logic, and the Occasional Smackdown on Bad Advice 💥
So, I read a post.
(It began innocently enough, as these things often do.)
It claimed that a horse can only form a genuine relationship with a human if it’s allowed to slobber on your jacket, sniff your armpits, nuzzle your hair, and loiter in your personal space like an uninvited Tinder date. 🚩
Apparently, saying “no” to your horse’s investigatory advances means you’re emotionally unavailable.
Which is a bit like saying that if you don’t let a toddler shove peas up your nose, you clearly hate children. 🫛👃
Now, let me unpack this suitcase of wrongness. 🧳
First, it gave me the ick.
The same kind of ick women got in the 1950s when told they should smile through unsolicited shoulder rubs from Harold in Accounts—because it was just his way of “being friendly.” 🤢
And second—and I really cannot stress this enough—it’s utter codswallop.
A good relationship with your horse doesn’t require physical contact that would warrant an HR complaint in any other workplace. 📝🙅♀️
Horses don’t need to lick your face to know your soul.
They’ve got nostrils nearly as sharp as a drug-sniffing beagle 🐶 and can detect your self-doubt before you’ve even touched the halter.
They observe.
They assess.
They know—without sticking their nose in your cleavage—that you’ve had a hard week.
So why are we still peddling the idea that setting boundaries makes you cold, closed off, or cruel?
Actually—let’s pause on that word: boundaries.
If the term makes your hackles rise, swap it out. Try rules for engagement.
Same idea, less therapy-room 🛋️, more clarity.
It’s not about being distant. It’s about being discerning. 🧠
And here’s the real kicker: boundaries don’t block connection—they protect it. 🛡️
They create trust.
They reduce conflict.
They prevent resentment.
They are the very opposite of the submission-as-love nonsense women have been force-fed for centuries.
Being a good partner—human or horse—isn’t about disappearing your needs.
It’s about showing up clearly, consistently, and with a spine. 🧍♀️
Because letting a horse mug you for snacks while calling it “connection” isn’t enlightened.
It’s just permission for chaos. 🍿
Guess what? Horses aren’t only curious… they’re strategic. ♟️
They’re also testing whether they can influence you—and taking notice of the outcome.
This is where it all kicks off:
Horse leans in.
Human thinks, how sweet.
Horse leans harder.
Human leans back.
Horse takes a step.
Human compromises.
And before you know it, the horse is running over Aunt Cheryl and you’re on Facebook asking why Barney charges you at feed time. 🐎🧍♀️💥
Boundaries aren’t rejection—they’re clarity.
They tell your horse: “This is how we engage.”
Let’s stop romanticising disempowerment and start celebrating boundaried, mutually respectful relationships—where horses are curious, humans are wise, and nobody is getting stood on in the name of “connection.” 🙃
You’re not cold for having boundaries.
You’re just being sensible.
When a worried horse barrels into your space, your instincts tell you to block, not hug. 🧱🫂
It’s like a scared child running for comfort and colliding with someone who panics and shoves them back.
See how this bad idea falls apart?
Disclaimer 🧐
This post—and its satirical style, cheeky analogies, and metaphors—has been written as a thinking tool. It’s designed to challenge flawed narratives with a smile. 😏
If it made you laugh, great. If it made you think, even better. 💡
And if it tickled your fancy, please hit the share button (you know, that one down there 🔁), and avoid copy-pasting like a content kleptomaniac. 🦹♂️
Let’s keep satire honest, ideas sharp, and authors credited.
PS. Oh—and just in case it needs saying:
“Rules of engagement” doesn’t mean whack your horse if they come too close.
It means you teach them how to engage.
Calmly. Clearly. Consistently.
Because training is how relationships are built—not through punishment, but through communication.
