02/06/2026
Why This Pup Means I’ve Started Offending People..
This last week I’ve offended total strangers..
How?
I said no when they asked to interact with Neeva OR asked them to stop when they went to interact without asking. I briefly explained why. I was polite. I said please and thank you. And yet, I’ve had people behave as though I was NOT entitled to say no to them.
(Note. I said total strangers, so my friends and family who have met Neeva this week- this isn’t for you!!)
I understand that people love dogs. I really understand that people love puppies. Puppies are great. Puppies are gorgeous. But. Puppies are also discovering the world in a developmental stage that is more influential than any other time in their lives.
The way we socialise them now, can create very ‘sticky’ behaviours- my profession revolves around dealing with many of these sticky behaviours- some of which could have been prevented.
So why might I say NO to you interacting with my puppy?
Firstly- socialisation in a dog’s critical period isn’t just about interacting. It’s not the same as the way we think about ourselves socialising with friends. It’s about observing, becoming familiar, confident and RELAXED with the presence of living and inanimate things, novelty, noises, surfaces and so much more.
Neeva has interacted with 20-30 people this week. She’s seen hundreds more.
So why might I say no to you when you ask to pat her?
- Because she’s just interacted with someone else and needs to learn balance so she doesn’t develop an expectation of interacting with EVERY person.
- Because she’s wildly playful at that time and that energy needs to go somewhere that doesn’t involve mouthing and jumping on people. If I let her mouth and jump on you because you don’t mind- and then try to stop the behaviour at other times- this is terribly unfair on a baby puppy.
- Because she’s just come out of her crate and I want to pair reuniting with relaxed behaviours. I can see around corners and know that pairing reuniting with excitement and arousal leads to a multitude of preventable issues.
- Because I’m busy or in a hurry and don’t have the time to devote in that moment to the multiple training reps required for productive interactions with strangers.
- Because if I teach her that other people are the best thing ever and she believes strangers = excitement, there will be more time, stress, conflict and learning pressures involved in teaching skills like loose lead walking, a recall, a safe tie out and a drop stay later down the track. (Ever heard the saying- don’t plant weeds you’re going to have to pull later- this applies here)
There is sometimes an assumption that this means a puppy doesn’t get to ‘have fun’ or ‘be a puppy’. Let me assure you this assumption is incorrect- but the hard truth is that interacting with every stranger isn’t part of that. A puppy can also be having a great time when they are calm, confident and relaxed- it doesn’t need to look wild to be ‘fun’.
If I say no, even if it surprises you- please try not to take offence. I’m not trying to offend you. I’m happy to explain what I’m doing. But I also won’t be talked around, so you’re wasting your energy trying and making a situation awkward that doesn’t need to be.
If you have a puppy that you’re socialising- think about what you want them to be able to do as an adult- are you developing associations now that will help or hinder what you teach them later? That choice belongs to you.
